no offense

rip and i were talking about about transgenders recently. about how awkward it can be during the transition period. if people don't know you very well, how to people refer to you? i certainly don't want to offend you in anyway. but i guess i couldn't really offend you if i'm talking about you rather than to you (that sounds rude, but just something like "oh, i ran into jesse the other day. s/he was wearing the coolest shoes!")

since we were actually talking about a person rip knows, i asked how s/he dressed: more feminine or masculine? whichever you identify with more i'd refer to you as. rip said that he now wears earrings, but wore gender neutral clothes. ...well that's no help. rip said that he thinks he's on hormones, but he hadn't changed his name. but ricky can be a female's name too, ricki lake, for instance. (we don't know how he spells it)

rip said that another male to female he knows uses to women's restroom. i said that made sense since she identifies as a female, and, i guess in some way more importantly, dresses as a female. rip said that he thinks she hasn't had bottom surgery tho, so would i, as a woman, be uncomfortable with her in my restroom? i said only if she came in, whipped her penis out, and started peeing in the sink. i have no idea what she's doing in the stall so i don't care. tho it would weird me out a little if i looked over and saw feet facing the toilet while hearing peeing sounds. but as long as woman (a person looking female anyway) walked out, i'd be okay with that. i said that it seemed much easier that she use a women's bathroom than men's bathroom because it would take basically no explaining at all. even if she used a urinal in a men's room, there'd still be the awkward moment when she walks in and no one knows what to think.

i emphasized "identifying as" rather than already fully transitioned, since transitioning can take a lot of time and money. also, i have no idea what's in your pants, even if you did get surgery to change it, so it would seem a little weird to refer to you by whatever is in there.

rip said the "identifying as" thing bothered him. what if he identified as a little person? what if he was tired of everyone thinking of him as tall so he decided to live life as a much shorter person? i feel that analogy is a very poor one, since, well, you're either short or tall, you can't really "fake" it. it's not like gender, where you can change your name, wear another style of clothing, and have people refer to you as another pronoun.

anyway, i think it's weird that rip seems to have more of a "problem" with transgenders when he personally knows a few. i thought it was more of the "gay friend effect," where the more gay people you know, the more likely you are to feel that there's nothing wrong with being gay. EDIT: to be clear, he doesn't actually have a problem. the identifying thing bothers him. though i'm not entirely sure why?

altho, both of us think it's a little weird when a transgendered person is gay. like if you were born a female, but identify as a male (whether or not your transitioning i don't think that matters), and like men. so you're gay, but you're also straight. hahah, this stuff is confusing. i'm glad i never questioned my gender or my sexual preferences. makes life a lot easier! i mean, sheesh, i imagine it's less confusing for a person actually going thru this stuff, but it can't be much easier, right? then you got ignorant people like me and rip wondering about stuff but are too embarrassed to ask questions! (since neither of us knows anyone in this position exceptionally well, and it's certainly none of our business anyway!)