delete?

i'm wondering what to do with some of my older blogs. i think i want to delete them, seeing as how i don't have an interest in updating anymore. but at the same time i feel like, well, it's not like it's doing anything that they're online. another thing is that i think (a)musing(s) was my 2nd oldest blog. my oldest one is no longer up because aol got rid of the blog features. anyway, i'll probably go thru them and save a few of my favorite posts, maybe transfer them to this blog. and delete it in a few weeks.

http://neurpssnapshots.blogspot.com/
http://neurpsamusings.blogspot.com/

btw, the reason i had so many blogs is because of my thing with organization and keeping things separate. this blog was about my personal life stuff, (a)musing(s) was funny / interesting random things found online, and snapshots was pretty / interesting things also randomly found online.

...i know, it's weird. but it's also one of the reasons i have so many email accounts now (like 7?) that i don't fwd into one email box. i do actually have to sign in and out of most of them. i feel like i can focus more on "work" if all the emails i'm looking at are from "work." and yes, i know you can fwd them all to one account, and the sort them visually so all you're looking at is one account, but i dunno... i prefer it separate.

edit: i imported all the musing's posts to this blog. i feel like there's less pressure to update if there's only one or two instead of three. i'll probably import all the snapshots later.

get some

"girls talk shit because they think they know me. truth is, if i had a dick, they'd be the first to blow me."

closing the door

"weird" thing happened this morning... reep is leaving town again, this time to europe (paris then london then san fransisco)! so i drove him to his friend's place who is taking them to the airport (he's going to paris with a group of tekken guys [one of the reasons i'm not going. it's for a tourney so it's kind of a "business trip"]). anyway! so rip has this weird / bad habit of, when exiting the car to get his luggage from the trunk, leaving the passenger door open even though he's not going to get back into the car. normally it doesn't bother me, but this morning it was just after 7am so it was really cold!

so i called back at him "why didn't you close the door?!" and leaned over to close it myself. but he came back to close it. unfortunately the closing door hit my hand at a bad angle so my wrist was hurt. i wasn't hurt badly but it did hurt really bad, if you know what i mean.

since he was at the trunk (i have a hatchback) i told him what happened and he quickly apologized, took out his luggage, and left to put it in his friend's car. then he joked around or whatever with his friend for the next couple minutes while i stayed in the car massaging my wrist.

at this point i realized that "hey, he doesn't really care if i'm hurt, or even that he was the one who did it." nice, huh? for a boyfriend of 10 years...

the other night i re-watched "walk the line" (the movie with about johnny cash starring joaquin phoenix and reese witherspoon). in the proposal scene he says:

"Now I know I said and done a lot of things... that I hurt you, but I promise I'll never do that again. I only want to take care of you. I will not leave you like that Dutch boy with your finger in the dam."

i hate hearing stuff like "i want to take care of you" and the whole "i'll never hurt you" thing just isn't possible, so i don't like to hear that either. but you know what? i'm really starting to appreciate the sentiment.

i know. i'm crazy. when people say impossible or untrue things for the sake of sentimentality i don't like it. and when people say it to me i call them out on it. (rip no longer says completely untrue things like "i've always liked you" or even "i'll love you forever")

at the same time, i know that he doesn't not care. and i also know that he likely doesn't ever want to hurt me. and still, his rather casual reaction to my injury this morning was not comforting.

i write this mostly because this comes at a weird time. we've been really great the last  while. kind of a long time, really (besides that big fight we had in september). and i had recently started to really feel good about us. i was really going to miss him. i have been missing him. he's been traveling a lot lately and i'm still unemployed so... anyway. this came at a bad time. he's leaving for 2.5 weeks (much longer than usual). and seeing him joke around with his friend after knowing that he had just hurt my wrist (i mean, i sitting right there in the car, crying a little)... he came back and apologized again. and later when i called him at the airport, he was kind enough to remember to ask about it. and honestly, i wasn't hurt badly, not my wrist anyway...

legalize it?

a friend of mine recently tweeted that "I have been arguing the legalization of drugs my whole life. Using pretty much every argument contained in this article: 'study: alcohol is the "most harmful drug," followed by crack and heroin'"

i replied back saying that using the same article he can also see why all drugs, including alcohol, should actually be banned. he responded with something about how women's logic should be banned.

misogynist snark aside, i think he does see my point. and i think most people can too.

in a related issue, i voted no on prop 19 (california's prop to legalize "various marijuana-related activities, allow local governments to regulate these activities, permit local governments to impose and collect marijuana-related fees and taxes, and authorize various criminal and civil penalties" [wikipedia]). ). i don't have anything against marijuana (besides that it smells like skunk). i think it's less dangerous than tobacco cigarettes. and i say this not because it's "natural" or whatever that argument is, but that marijuana isn't highly addictive. in fact, most users don't become addicted at all, even with long-term use. but i think that if the government is going to say that certain drugs are illegal (cocaine, meth) then everything in the same category should be illegal too.

so what about over-the-counter drugs (cough syrup, tylenol)? but i'm defining "bad drugs (and therefore should be illegal drugs)" as those which for most people the most common and obvious effect is a distortion of the actual reality, and it is exactly for these reasons that many people are motivated to take them. (i understand that tobacco {whether cigarettes or smokeless} is kind of an exception to this definition but in some way tobacco is worse. it doesn't provide a super obvious distortion of reality, and yet you become addicted anyway. and, of course, lots of people take tobacco to relax, so i am including it.) so yeah, that benadryl might make you sleepy, but 1. that doesn't happen for the huge majority of people and 2. nearly everyone taking benadryl  just wants to get rid of their allergies. most everyone taking ecstasy isn't looking to get rid of depression (though taking e will make you happy).

another thing. the "people are going to do it anyway so let's just make it legal" argument is complete bullshit. if that way of thinking is correct, why don't we get rid of laws prohibiting murder, rape, torture, theft... i think you get my point.

one other bullshit argument people were using in favor of legalizing marijuana was something about taking money away from drug cartels. ...then shouldn't we also legalize opium and all other drugs (hella drug cartels there), murder (damn those assassins and hit men!), child prostitution (so their greedy adult pimps don't get money; the kids should pocket all the money they earn)...

i think the only good argument for legalizing marijuana is that it does seem to be less dangerous than other "drugs" which are currently legal: tobacco and alcohol. but honestly, isn't it better to ban all "bad drugs" rather than having these hazy debates about what evils aren't quite evil enough?


btw, a little about me. i'm a guilty drinker. for many years my boyfriend and i were teetotalers (he had his reasons  and i went along wit it). but later i did start to drink everyone once in a while. a great while. in the 9 years we weren't drinking, i drank less than 10 times, probably less than 5 times even. but every time i did drink i felt really guilty about it. and even tho now we both drink (tho infrequently) i still feel bad about it. and it gets "worse." my dad drinks everyday, not to the point of getting drunk, i don't know if he's even tipsy, but it is everyday. i've seen him drunk only a couple times in my life, and i hated it. i know that i hold him to a higher standard (he is my dad afterall) but i cannot stand people who get puking drunk. and along with all this, i have semi-control issues anyway so seeing people losing control is especially disgusting to me. so even when i do drink now, i don't like getting tipsy. so, lol, maybe you can see why i can be so conservative as to consider banning all drugs, including alcohol.

efficiency (energy)

simple ways to conserve energy (besides the usual or turning off lights when exiting the room):

i have this weird little rule where i let myself only have three things on at a time. so if i already have two lights and the radio on, i can't turn on anything else (the whole computer unit counts as one thing). or if i'm charging my phone, i only get the tv and vcr, no light! this actually helps me remain focused on my work too. how many of us are guilty of having watching the tv while doing something on the computer? you can only look at one thing at a time anyway, so why do you have multiple things on?

don't forget to unplug your non-daily use electronics / appliances. even if you're not using them, weirdly enough they still use energy. so unplug your chargers, radios, blenders, hair dryers, etc.

use power strips, and turn them off too! all my computer stuff is plugged into my power strip. and when i turn off the computer for the night, i turn off the strip as well.

use natural light! why turn on an electric light if you can just open your window blinds or drapes? i think a lot of people are so used to turning lights on that they dont' realize how bright it is already during the day. and i don't know about you, but i prefer the natural light over that yellow tinge or electric hum of light bulbs anyway. and this leads to the next one...

pee wit the light off, and in other similar situations... if you're a girl, you sit down, so all you really need is to see the toilet seat and toilet paper, do you really need the light on for that? and similarly, if you're opening the fridge to grab a snack, why do you need the kitchen light? the fridge already has one. i think you get the point. there's very little that you really need to see clearly and in full, bright light. so if you don't need it, don't bother.

also remember to only use hot water when necessary. not only will you save water, but it takes energy to heat up that water.