Monday, August 8, 2005

down under in china

whoa. i can actually update from here. how incredible is that? at any rate, i'm in some internet cafe right now. i've been online once before and had read a couple emails from reep. i wrote one back (yes this is gonna be a post about reepal. silly me for thinking that across the f*cking pacific he couldn't hurt me anymore). a super super long one and ran out of time afterwards. at any rate. he wrote back and pretty much accused me of all this stupid shit... i don't feel like getting into it. i just... i'm so disappointed. seriously. i wrote him an email back that said something along the lines of "it makes me wonder why i'm even missing you" ...i feel like such a fool. ...i kno that i really ought to just behave better and write him some letter apologizing for my last one and telling him how much i love and miss him but... .

'you were the one who abandoned me' 'i am on the brink of losing everything' 'hanging on the edge of every word [he] says' / '[he] stabs deep into me' 'and i too blind to see what this has done to me' '[he] stabs deep into me' 'and i [wish i was ]too numb to feel this anymore' / 'i am patiently waiting here to see' 'which of us survives' 'when all of this collides with reality'

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