this sunday al2 called reep to wake him up for db. she said that they wanted him there cause she felt uncomfortable and excluded from everyone else. reep didn’t say he would go, nor did he actually do so. but it saddens me that this situation arose. i’ve asked him to go to db. he declined. citing that he didn’t want to see gary and such because he thinks i liked him. little may he kno (although i have told him numerous times before) that i am almost desperately curious to see if lilly and gary ever get back together. i think they are perfectly matched. and would be damned please if they did become a couple again. however al2 supposes, and perhaps assumes, that if she asks then he will go. to hang out wit her and keep her company. rather than, say, be wit his gf. he said that he wouldn’t just go cause of her tho, but if tom went as well. he also said that me asking and wanting him to be there had very little to do wit him deciding to go. in other words: al2 takes priority. i’ve asked him. i’ve even persuaded tom to start going again. and yet that isn’t enough. they say that jealousy and paranoia stem from insecurity. so i guess i have good reason then to feel rebuked. after all, when your boif tells you flat out that the request of his friend weighs more heavily than your same request, well, i do think you have the right to feel inferior. seeing also as i have had other run-ins wit this same friend of yours in other situations where you clearly chose her over me, it seems incredible that you don’t totally understand why i worry about your relationship wit her developing into something more. or more basically, why i distrust you at all.
'this is incredible. starving, insatiable, yes, this is love for the first time.' / 'well you'd like to think that you were invincible. yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?' 'but it doesn't make it any better.'
'the memories will fade.'
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