project prevention

one my most favorite podcasts recently replayed an old episode called Inheritance. i was specifically interested in the third section called: What If There Was No Destiny? it centers on barbara, a woman who adopted multiple children from another woman who was giving them up near annually, as soon as they were born. this woman was addicted to drugs and her children would all likely be affected, physically and mentally, because of it. she had three prior children to the four barbara had adopted also. all had given up for adoption. 

after adopting the fourth child, barbara founded a non-profit called Project Prevention, which pays women with drug addictions to get IUDs or get sterilized. 

obviously, this is a pretty controversial org! the money ($300-$400) is given without any drug prevention care. it's just given if the woman gets an IUD or sterilization. it's not given *for* the woman, you see. it's given to prevent more "drug addicted babies."

there are racial implications, of course, especially because barbara is white. altho she does say that the majority of the women who accept are white. (tho what's the breakdown of women they're approaching?)  and you have to wonder if there's any coercion, especially when it comes to sterilization. but it's an interesting idea.

i don't have solid opinions about this org but i will say that i don't intend to donate to them. that may change, but barbara used some rather offensive (and umempathetic) language when describing some of these women and it seems like the org is very strongly driven by her vision alone, rather than by a board, which also makes me uncomfortable.

control

Vogue - The Supreme Court Is Letting Trump Get Away With Weakening Birth Control Coverage Mandates

I don't understand how it's okay that a person's religious and moral beliefs can oppress other people. what does your religion have to do with my health care?

if my employer is a jehovah's witness, should my health coverage not include blood transfusions (and therefore rule out many major surgeries)?

if my employer is an anti-vaxxer, should I (and my children who are on my health care) be forced to pay for vaccinations out of pocket?

or what if I believe that you shouldn't have any kind of health care since you can just pray to god really hard and ask him to cure you? his will is the way, and if he wanted you healthy, well, you would be.

article about how birth control used as medicine, not to control births: Why the Supreme Court Ruling on Birth Control Is Even Worse Than You Think

what happened to Monday?

what happened to monday?

oy. such interesting questions this movie brings up!
1. what will happen when the world runs out of resources to support our human population? what lengths should we go to prevent that (or should we at all)?
2. is the collective survival of our species more important than an individual's survival? how about many individuals?
3. is there a right to life? is there a lesser or greater right to life?
4. how far would you go for your children?
5. at what point do your parents' choices for your life become your own?
and the age old 6. nature vs. nurture?

social surrogacy

"Should a woman be allowed to hire a surrogate because she fears pregnancy will hurt her career? Or "ruin" her body? What if she's just afraid of giving birth?" An article from ELLE May 2014 about  social surrogacy

our society place value in motherhood and pregnancy, but we don't really. we may coddle pregnant women, but we also have like the shortest maternity leave of any 1st world nation. we expect women to immediately return to pre-baby bodies, we freak out at women breast feeding in public, and find fault in stretch makes.

i'm a fairly practical person. so it doesn't make much difference to me why you want to hire a surrogate rather than having one yourself. honestly, i feel like purposely setting out to create a kid, even one you diy, is a little bit a selfish thing anyway, so adding vanity to the mix is no big deal. so yeah, i think social surrogacy is fine. i mean, it's not the best thing ever, but since you can't deny surrogacy based on motive alone... i do think the best alternative to not carrying your own child is to adopt. but that's a whole other thing.

bloody shame

yashar ali: if men had periods, women would all know about it (btw, i love it that the author is male)


this reminds me of that kotex commercial about covert tactics: "no one can see me with tampons." ha! i think it's weird that so many people are embarrassed by menstruation since every healthy fertile un-pregnant woman has them. i did the math once and figured that at any given moment 10% of the human population is bleeding out their vag. so why pretend it doesn't exist?

i haven't ever needed rip to buy me tampons but i asked him about it and he said that yeah, he would. (yay!!) then he immediately ruined it by saying:

rip: yea, if anyone asks id jus say i get crazy nosebleeds

Neurp: or you could just say your girlfriend has her period

rip: gross

Neurp: why? it's natural...

rip: yea but no one needs to know

tho honestly, this doesn't surprise me. i talk about my period all the time and i don't care if people are uncomfortable hearing about it. i sometimes say "i have cramps" but i'll more likely say "my uterus hurts." mostly because it's more specific. i could have leg cramps from running. anyway, rip once commented how weird it was i said that in public. he said the next time i did, he would make me stop by asking me detailed questions about it. i was very enthused to take him up on his little "dare". you can't shame me about my period. you want to know specifics? i'll bloody tell you and everyone who cares to eavesdrop.

 

women get their periods. that's life. and men who don't want children should be DAMN HAPPY every time their lady gets it. maybe happy to the point of telling their buddies that "hey! my girlfriend got her period today, drinks on me!"

male birth control

huzzah! there is a promising new method of male birth control in the form of an oral contraceptive. (there is a gel that sounds pretty interesting, but i know i'd be more interested in a pill) i think this is super fabulous and i've always wondered why there wasn't a pill for men.

if you don't want a kid, and you're sleeping with random people, can you really trust them when they say they're on the pill? no, you cannot. so you should definitely wear a condom! altho everyone knows that doesn't feel as good and they have a higher instance of not working. so then what? well, you can be on the pill too!

some talk hows have been saying really sexist things about men regarding this pill. they seem to believe that women are more responsible and that you "can't trust a man to remember to take the pill." but that's bullshit. if a man gets on the pill he probably wants to be on it, so he'll probably try to remember to take it -- just like women! and if generalizations are to be believed, more men then women don't want kids. so they should, then, more likely want to be able to prevent pregnancies, right? either way, i think this is a great opportunity for men to have more control over their reproductive lives.

i don't know if it was just that rip and i were in a stable relationship, but when i was on the pill, i asked him to remind me about it every day. i felt like it was his responsibility too. it's not just that i don't want a baby; we don't want a baby.

the male birth control pill is a great way for both partners to be involved. you can both be on the pill so if one of you forgets, you've got backup. rather than saddling one person with the whole burden, you are both being responsible for pregnancy prevention.