pillow talk

yuko has a boif. they've been together for about a week and a half now. she asked me last night if i talk to reep every day. i said 'of course!' she asked when and how and who called who? 'we talk several times a day. he calls me and i call him. after work, after school, just because... and of course we talk at night online.' she said that they only really talked online. sometimes over the phone, but not often. she's not a phone person, she said, didn't talk much. i already knew that. was thinking tho. all my friends wit boifs talk to their guys every day. so am wondering now, wat's the difference to her, exactly, now that they're together? and really, wat's the difference for anyone? i guess it comes down to commitment. when you're dating there really is none. and when you're together there is. but is that all? and now i'm thinking so. am wondering, later, if, god forbid, reep and i break up. i meet a new guy, end up wit him being my boif. wat if he doesn't like to talk on the phone much? do we just not really talk? but how would i bond wit him? how would i even kno who he is? in a previous 'relationship' of mine, we didn't talk much. only really in school. and when summer came up we didn't talk for days at a time. maybe even weeks, i don't remember. but i wonder how her relationship works? is it healthier in some way? i kno i start stressing when i've not talked to reep all day. i get antsy and keep checking my phone for missed calls but feel guilty about wanting to call and 'bother' him. well anyway, to each his own.

'where you at boy?' / 'i’m becoming best friends with the dial tone cause you not pickin up the phone' / 'i called ya cell and ya home and still i sit here alone ' / 'you know, it would be nice if you can call somebody and let somebody know that you alright' / 'be a real g and pick up the phone' lol...

sex and the city - "the chicken dance"

His hello was the end of her ends.

Her laugh was their first step down the aisle.

His hand would be hers to hold forever.

His forever was as simple as her smile.

He said she was what was missing.

She said she instantly knew.

She was a question to be answered.

And his answer was “I do.”

 

-Carrie at the wedding (season 2, episode 7)

oddly enough

did you kno that cows can fall in love? and wit machines at that? and speaking of which, go watch this weird/funny video of jaime foxx singing how much he wants to be your tennis ball. in other news, cars can fly, right into buildings that is; you can start a fire using a soda can and some chocolate (try this and tell me how it works!); cell phones can be stun guns; and working computer moniters can be transparent.

multi-media

check out this kung-fu guy doing really neato things! if after watching this you are inpired, go read this article thing and learn to make a ring out of your spare change (weirdly enough, i kind of want to try it, it looks really cool. altho somewhat difficult to do). and if that's really not your thing but you are still looking for something cool, go get a corset pericing (and now i'm going to sound really whack, but i think it looks really freakin cool. if not for the high risk of infection and scarring and the horrible bloody pain, i just might consider it, really. really really.) and because i've not scared you nearly enough, here's a picture of kevin federline circa 1991. tee-hee.

lyrics

snow patrol - run


I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go 
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

randomness

so it looks that while that denny's woman is screwed, this arby's guy is legit. and seriously, people finding weird things in their food is an all too common occurance these days. for those of you who eat out a lot (reepal!) please watch out. * remember that post i had a while ago about alcohol burning cars? well now there's a wood burning car. and while pretty cool, i'd really wish he'd not burn things. bad for the environment, you kno. * in case you're interested in watching the movie, maybe you'd like to do a little reading up in advance. the guide to the hitchhiker's guide to the universe. * the luckiest woman ever (runs off road, hits tree, rolls down 30-foot hill, hit by train and still survives!) * ebay: mating animal crackers

agha shahid ali

Leaving Your City

In the midnight bar

your breath collapsed on me.

I balanced on

 

the tip of your smile,

 

holding on to your words

as I climbed the dark steps.

 

Meticulous,

your furniture neatly arranged for death,

 

you sharpened the knife

on the moon's surface,

polished it with lunatic silver.

 

You were kind,

reciting poetry in a drunk tongue.

I thought: At last!

 

Now I loiter in and out

of your memory,

 

speaking to you wherever I go.

 

I'm reduced to my poverties

 

and you to a restless dream

from another country

 

where the sea is the most expensive blue.

 

***

 

My finger, your phone number

as its tip, dials the night.

 

And your city follows me,

its lights dying in my eyes.

my kingdom...

today was a good day. tonight was a great night. which was a little surprising after last night. but our relationship, as i have discovered, is the most elastic of all rubberbands. it's nights like these, tho, that make me weak for you. i want to give you everything, anything. and it pains me that i cannot.

'how do you do it?' 'make me feel like i do' 'it's better than i ever knew' / 'we could start again' 'i will hold you close, i need you to see this place, it might be the only way that i can show you how it feels…' / 'you are stellar'

rabindranath tagore

The mighty desert is burning / for the love of a blade of grass / who shakes her head / and laughs and flies away.

If you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars.

The stars are not afraid to appear like fireflies.

What you are you do not see, what you see is your shadow.

celebridome

is it just my imagination or is nicole richie getting thinner and thinner? they say it's the reason she and paris are no longer friends. specifically that nicole is getting thinner and therefore more popular than paris, who can't cope. and much as i do think nicole looks better than before, she needs to watch out. btw, lindsay doesn't look good as a blond. much as nicole needs to be careful that she doesn't get too thin, tonya harding hardly has the same worries. she looks horrible. besides just the wieght, she looks way older. now avril doesn't have weight issues. but that girl needs to start cleaning up her act cause she looks effing weird anyway (2nd picture. check out the pupils and her lips!). oh, and good job wit the smoking. wat are you, stupid? who starts smoking these days, knowing all the risks... anyway. here's a list of dlable songs from 'the simpsons' and don't forget to check out your horoscope, courtesy of kevin federline.

emily dickensen - j. 288

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
then there's a pair of us-don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong June
To an admiring bog!

something's fishy....

hope this never happens to you: man set afire during sugery. nor, of course, would i hope that the next time you're at a funeral, the corpse makes a grand entrance. much worse, however, might be if you got atacked by pirhanas (graphic picture) which, btw, can reach up to two freakin feet in length! but at least from that you'd have the sympathy of others (assuming that you're still alive, of course). being the statues from this webiste (statuemolesters.com) however, might just cause major embarrassment. and if that didn't make you smile, maybe this guy will. introducing the rosy lipped batfish. he's so cute!

fakers

hello homies. ...christ the people across the hall are having loud sex again. christ. btw, i did not kno lesbian sex was so rhymic, if you kno wat i mean. i never really thought about it one way or another, but it's very... ...um... punctual? lol. rhymic, like straight sex, or gay sex. in time, you kno? like wit a metronome. but anyway. in india most condoms are used to make saris. only about 25% of them are used for their actual purposes. which is maybe why india has the fastest rate of pop growth in the world. other studies show that many people fake talking to people on thier cell phones. which is funny, cause i can't remember ever doing that. in related news, a dude got super pissed and yanked another driver's phone away cause the guy was taking too long in making a left turn. criky.

thomas hardy - the last time

The kiss had been given and taken,

            And gathered to many past:

It never could reawaken;

            But I heard none say: ‘It’s the last!’

 

The clock showed the hour and the minute.

            But I did not turn and look:

I read no finis in it,

            As at closing of a book.

 

But I read it all too rightly

            When, at a time anon,

A figure lay stretched out whitely,

            And I stood looking thereon.

 

(orig posted 2.22.05 at travel log)

nameless

for future reference. when your girlf/boif tells you that they had a bad dream where you're making love to some other person and saying their name over and over and how much you love them. the proper response isn't: 'so you think i like her, huh?' no. you ought to say: 'i love you, [insert name of boif/girlf here]'. crikey. no i don't think you like her. it was a dream. people dream weird things all the time, cause dreams are not wishes a heart makes! but just cause it's a dream doesn't mean i don't feel bad about it. hrmph. good job for catching on rather quickly tho. but next time, when i say you said 'i love you, ***' make sure you say back 'i love you, stephanie'.

weirdness

if you've ever wanted to more than just meet a celebrity, now's your chance. off the celebrityskin website you can purhcase personal items of famous people such as sjp, jay-z, jack black, mike tyson and even norman mailer. wat items you ask? well, the selection is (un)fortunatly quite limited, they only carry bacteria, skin cells, urine, and poo. yep. it's true. it seems weird tho, that they don't sell hair as well. in a semi related story, they're now a urinal that shakes your, um... member after you pee. for those of you who don't kno, appt after peeing, some guys shake off their pee. like that works. anyway. in other really weird news, reindeer are really damn stupid and so are the brits. wait. are they stupid or are we? anyway, they nominated homer simpson as the greatest american ever, so you figure it out.

music, meat, mayhem

well jesus pleasus, there's been a lot of updating lately. to make up for this quiet weekend i suppose. anyway, yay food, it is the best stuff on earth. it's wat makes life worth living, well, that and best friends. but enough of that... here's a shot of an x-rated lemon on, where else?, ebay. a weirdly x-tradinary meat gallery. and x-tra gross road kill gummies. erm yummy... and speaking of yummy. russian drs get confused and grow a penis on a man's arm. wait... did i say yummy? i meant x-ratedly x-tra gross. and this x businnes is getting out of hand... and speaking of hands and all those stupid x's, a couple eats each other's fingers (really gross picture halfway down). um yeah... and i don't kno if it's just that reepal and i aren't that much in love, but we're still at that stage where because we love each other, we also don't like to hurt each other. go figure. anyway. but to take away all those horrible pictures out of your mind, i leave you wit this compliation of fake advertisements. mostly pretty funny, esp the last three, which i don't get.

transformers

found this awhile ago but never posted it. decided to tonight as now i have it's pair. you will need, however, a small picture of yourself, preferably of only your face. you can first put it thru the face transformer to see what you would look like as a person of another race, or as a person in an art portrait (using jacko's, wat results do you think we'd get?). then, head over to this other site and see wat you'll look like in up to 40 years. and for added fun, go to match>age and guess the ages of the people in the pictures (i totally sucked at this btw).

also, you send me screenshots of yours and i'll send you screen shots of mine. altho i gotta tell ya, i look pretty bad 40 years from now... in fact, i think i'm going to sleep in a tub of sunblock tonight...

techno whirl

not that i really kno much about this, so i'm not gonna vouch for any of the tips, but here's how to make your xp extra fast. also tips on how to control your house using your psp, altho i don't think any of you have one of these... also in tonight's update is an airscooter, pretty cool, esp as how you don't need a pilot's license. but coolest of all are these prize winning personalized comp tower cases. the site is in german but you can still check out the pictures (number 11 is cool). and in fashion tech news, here's maybe the ugliest shoes ever (scroll thru pictures for better shots of just how ugly it is [last one esp]).

pope trope

so it looks as tho the catholic world has a new boss: joseph ratzinger. he was a rather surprising pick for pope, as he is already 78 and is one of the most conservative guys around. oh, and also, he used to be a nazi youth. that's right. we have a really old ex-nazi pope. well anyway, at least he's clean now, after all, he's also the pope of soap. well, at least he doesn't have one of the worst jobs in history.

into the looking glass

check this out (love the crayon one). and now that you've had whole night of looking at things (cause i kno you went thru each and every link of those last few updates) here's your chance to relax your eyes (stare at pictures and cross eyes for weird effect). or even better, go and make youself blind. hm.... maybe that's why these plane crashes happened (good ones are "yeah it's a woman," "damn good," "temporary insanity," "nose down" and "don't look." don't kno wat else, cause, well, i stopped looking.)

and google that!

as you should kno, google also bought over that satalite map company a while ago and has released google maps (why are we getting our name cues from trump?). one of the things it found was oprah (tilt head left). other interesting places to go are listed here (now if only i could find dork street,  hint, it's in pico rivera). course, now this stupid thing has sparked you wanderlust, which drives you crazy (haha!) cause gas is so damn expensive. well no worries! stephanie always saves the day (well, besides yesterday, i took a day off, so my friend mustard took over): learn to moonshine and save your gas expenses. but maybe you don't want to be driving anyway... not wit guys like this on the road. he's taken his drivers test 272 times. that's right. it's probably just better to sit at home and learn how to pimp your cart. which, of course, will give you practice for when you travel the oregon trail, just like in elementary school!

google this!

okay ponies get ready, am planning several updates tonight. will i actually update several times? i dunno. that waits to be seen. first off, however, is google talk again. everyone has been posting about this lately and featured below are a few google talk gems that i've stolen off someone else's site.

The Olsen Twins are now legal in the US and Canada.  Brad Pitt is a good actor but he's not a monkey.  Britney Spears is a pop star who has been charged with murder in Brazil.  Paris Hilton is a regular friggin Mother Teresa.  Kevin Federline is a man with a mission baby, you know it.  The best sexual position for obese partners was a big fan of the nuns.  I sleep with animals and those who have not heard the gospel. OJ Simpson is not a good idea for a New Secretary- General of the Republic of the Congo. Osama Bin Laden likes poetry and volleyball. George Bush is a Liar, He s NOT a Picture of her mother's Image. Dick Cheney is a robot. a robot a robot a robot. Adolf hitler is a fictional character in the Star Wars universe. kermit the frog is a very important part of the New York OBSERVER. Green poop makes me horny.

 for added fun, try telling a story. One day I ll fly away to the circus. There I will be there for you and I will be a good graduate student adivsor because I am a japanese school teacher who loves to play with your food.

me so crazy!

in somewhat old news, a crazy vermontian kid stole a dead man's head to make it into a bong. um... wat happened to the good ol' days when kids just used apples? now, i don't kno if mr t would approve of the kid's actions, cause maybe the kid still treats his mamma right. but you kno the real difference between dead people and food? food can protect you from food. unlike those dead people. oh man... they won't protect you from nothing. esp not other dead people... wtf am i talking about? ...antibacterial mustard comes to the rescue, folks, that's right! feast your eyes on that! and while you're at it, go check out wat song was #1 on the day you were born. mine was billie jean by wacko jacko, both here and across the pond. i wonder if then too he was trying to get into little billie's jeans? (i'm so witty i tell ya!)

perfect man

have actually been wanting to post this for a while but then we had that fight so i thought i'd postphone so it would be in its own post. anyway that night of the 12th when we had that convo about how he doesn't like to read my site. i also mentioned that altho i've seen him __ (forgetting the word right now...) other people's sites on his posts, i don't recall him doing so for mine. [as i'm updating we're recapping that convo.] anyway. appt he doesn't link my site cause he doesn't want others to read it. well, hm... that's nice. but i kno wat he means. he means this site. i think musings he might occasionally link, well, i take that back. he'd have to read it, no? (touché!) but anyway. he is a pretty close-mouthed guy. i like to share. i can keep quiet when it comes to other people's secrets. but for me and my problems, well, i like to vent. and writing is one of the main ways i do it. definitly. but it reminds me of when i was talking to chang a while ago when she was still wit chris. he was complaining that he didn't like her talking to his friends about him. our solution? be a better boyfriend! we'd have nothing to complain about if you'd just do a better job! lol... i'm not serious. not really anyway. cause while yes, if you were a better boif then i probably wouldn't post as much. but that assumes that i do a better job too. and even then, we'd probably still get into our scrapes. it's just the way it is. we are different people after all.

readathon

ever think some jokes make no sense? well, read this (jokes wit realistic endings) and wonder why some of these are still funny (not most of them tho). also, in continuation of your night of marathon reading, espn posts the sports's 25 greatest hoaxes, cheats and frauds. oh, and for more of your reading pleasure, postsecret updated.

god are you there?

in case you don't kno, i love religion. so tonight imma share a few 'jesus' sites wit you. first, to answer a few of your questions: what does the h is jesus stand for (read nazimail, 2nd one is damn funny. reminicent of maddox's site)? and where's jesus at (find and click on his image to get to next level)? and now that you kno all about him, maybe you'd also like a chance to date jesus (check out pictures under multimedia. hugely blasphemous, some nsfw, btw. altho since i think most of you are students, nsfp [not safe for parents].).
random tangent right here to date jesus' jesus: in your faq section you suggest that atheists disprove god historically. um yeah... that's been done. you say that you don't read much, well this is a dead giveaway. but you also say that you focus your reading on things you don't kno much about. well, then you really ought to read up on atheism and it's arguements cause you don't kno anything of it. and it's painfully obvious. futhermore, christianity may have 'anticipated being proved wrong' but they didn't resort to the supernatural as a way of explaination. christianity in itself deals hugely wit the supernatural. wat would you call the afterlife? but you can't possibly believe they made that up as an argument to defend themselves against atheism. anyway, in case you didn't kno (which i'm assuming you don't cause it's apparent you really don't kno much about atheism, which maybe makes sense considering. but you kno that saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer...) some sects of christianity have changed their fundamental beliefs (many christians no longer believe that god is all-powerful) because some of them simply make no damn sense, in the realisitic as well as supernatural realm. because the supernatural does not entirely supersede logic. anyway. enough of this. i've only bothered to dismantle your second paragraph. it's useless arguing wit you about atheism as it's apparent you're just pulling stuff out of your ass rather than make an informed argument. so note to jesus: you're not all knowing, cause, well,you aint god.

the point?

am whittling it down. watched three episodes of felicity tonight. and i've only three left before i finish it all. am at those weird ones where she travels back in time to be wit noel. in the last episode i watched, hannah comes back and noel gets confused. i never liked hannah. she reminds me now of al. torch-bearing ex-girlfriend who lacks morals and respect for others. but i realized tonight that hannah (jen garner, for those of you who don't kno) is now on alias. and damn, that's a freakin anagram of alisa! fucking weird! and now i hate her even more! lol. no. seriously tho. i didn't ever like her cause she confuses noel, which hurts felicity. but truly. felicity and ben belong together. some of these last episodes are new for me. i missed a bunch of them before. i kno i missed the last one. so i kind of can't wait to get there. but at the same time, it'll be hard arriving at the end. oh. so the point of this update (this is the relationship page of my many webpages. which reminds me. you kno why i have so many? cause i like them organized. each page has totally different types of content. and i really only realized this the other day. that i'm organized, that's why. so i guess yeah, i am clean [referring to comments made by others]. i always thought that was more of a closet and bookshelf sort of thing. but no. i do keep everything exactly in it's proper space and holy crap i'm off on yet another tangent.) is that i think it's weird that some people would date, not because they like the person, but because they used to. how long does this go for? i've had strong feelings for a person or two before but it's always went away. or, away enough so that they are but a tiny flicker. i can understand that people in your past would carry a glow. but this thing hannah has for noel. it is an actual flame. three years or no, it doesn't seem to matter. is this common? is this healthy? (i say yes and no, respectively) people need to get over past loves. it's unheathy to hold on so. and people esp need to get over it when their past person is wit someone new.  i mean come on hannah! stop being such a whore! and if you need to be one, go prostate yourself on someone else!

upswing

so last night he calls me again. and aplogizes. and i'm pretty sure even before reading my site. isn't that sweet? so anyway. we're better again. yay! and for new that isn't about us: a friend of him told this girl he's been liking for the last two years that she's like, the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. and she kind of brushed it off. well... it could've been worse. at least she didn't say something like 'i would've thought you were hitting on me, if not for the fact that you're gay.' ...here's to better luck in all our romantic pursuits. ::cheers::

begging pardon

this is like the never ending story. so he actually called me tonight after he woke up.   we were talking normally when he brought up the subject of this stupid fight we've been having. so we started talking about it. and from there it went downhill. quickly. so i get wat he's talking about. that yes, obviously, having sex could very possibly lead to the eventual loss of planned future. but he doesn't seem to get that it is inappropriate to insult people simply because you disagree wit them. he said that because i didn't seem to understand that having sex could lead to kids which could ruin everything (even tho i've seen it actually happen to one of my good friends just this past year) he decided to insult me. he said that it worked tho, didn't it? cause even today i'm thinking about it. uh... no. i'm thinking about how pissed i am. i'm not at all thinking about how having unplanned kids could be disasterous. and seriously. if you didn't think i was getting that part, why didn't you just explain that? why not just ask if i actually got the significance. why you gotta be so rude? christ... you kno wat i want? an apology for getting out of hand and insulting me for no good reason. fine, you don't appreciate my sense of humor. okay, i made light of the situation. all right, you didn't think i got it. that's still no damn justification.

'i want to prove i'm right'. 'i want to fight' this out. i 'will not be shaken'. i have made 'my mind up, to go though this' and 'be firm'. we will 'learn from this', it 'could do some good'.

crazy cool

i dunno if you remember, but i posted a few months ago a thing called a liger and other cross-bred animals. now they've a new one, called a wolphin, which is a wolf and dolphin. ...just kidding. a whale and a dolphin actually. it's pretty cool. equally cool animals include this pair of albino kangaroos (mommy and baby) and this freaky looking aye-aye. but not all animals are cool just within themselves, some have had help. like these windowful cows (reminds me of the greek creation story, lol...). and this radioactive dog. people wonder how a dog can live in such a place? well, not unscathed i tell you. contrary to wat the article says about that being his fur, it's his actual body. yes, those are legions. btw, a completely ficticious source told me this, so rest assured, it's true. oh, and if you ever go to australia, become a nation's hero and kill as many frogs as possible.

float

we didn't see each other today. he didn't go to work. got his message when i was in the bookstore. called back and had this stilted conversation. 'the eternal silence of these infinite spaces filles me wit dread' - blaise pascal. he was nice enough tho. we both were. trying hard to ignore the jagged edges between us. he asked wat i had done that day and why i was in the bookstore. holding his hand out. but it wasn't enough, i guess, to stretch across the breaks. we hung up awkwardly. i came home to find yuko watching the notebook. considered going to the arc for a swim. there is nothing so satisfying as crying while swimming. unable to feel the tears slide away from you. it's a great relief to be able to cry in front of others witout them even knowing. the release is entirely yours, witout burdening anyone else. but, alas, i hadn't my swimsuit.

'this sad exchange pleased neither one of us' 'so we finally gave up' 'now both of us know'

wtf?

i sent him this link and the following convo happens:

Rip N La [1:19 A.M.]:  whats so funny?
Neurp [1:19 A.M.]:  ...seriously?
Rip N La [1:19 A.M.]:  yeah
Neurp [1:20 A.M.]:  well, it makes no sense
Rip N La [1:20 A.M.]:  its a PSA [public service annoucement]    Rip N La [1:20 A.M.]:  why? cuz if he had sex and ended up with a baby he couldnt afford to take care of and had to work full time at mcdonalds without having time to go to school he might still become an engineer?
Neurp [1:20 A.M.]:  notice that?" ended up wit a baby he couldn't afford to take care of"Rip N La [1:21 A.M.]:  oh, so that never happens
Neurp [1:21 A.M.]:  "and had to work full time at mcdonals withought having time to go to school" Rip N La [1:21 A.M.]:  and that never happens either
Neurp [1:21 A.M.]:  it's not that it never happens. but that it doen'st have to     (pause in convo)   Rip N La [1:22 A.M.]:  whatever, its ridiculous you're even arguing this
Neurp [1:23 A.M.]:  i'm not. in fact. i stopped.
Rip N La [1:23 A.M.]:  fine, its ridiculous you even arguED this   Neurp [1:23 A.M.]:  and eve then. if i'm ridiculous, so are you
Neurp [1:23 A.M.]:  you didn't exactly notargue back
Neurp [1:23 A.M.]:  and in fact, you argued first
Rip N La [1:23 A.M.]:  yeah, because you're so ridiculous
Neurp [1:23 A.M.]:  yeah.   Neurp [1:23 A.M.]:  let's not talk anymore about htis okay?
Rip N La [1:24 A.M.]:  why not?      (pause in convo)
Neurp [1:24 A.M.]:  are you trying to pick a fight wit me?   Rip N La [1:25 A.M.]:  not necessarily, I just asked you why not
Neurp [1:25 A.M.]:  i don't see the point
Rip N La [1:26 A.M.]:  apparently you don't see many points.
Neurp [1:27 A.M.]:  .
Neurp [1:27 A.M.]:  dont' talk to me anymore tonight.

um... what just happend (yeahyeah, besides my spelling)? so you didn't find it funny. okay. watever. did we really need to fight about it? furthermore, did you really have to insult me over it? crikey. we've been talking on and off since 9pm and he was fine the whole time. and then this happens... am seriously so confused. (and yeah, i kno the im convo looks weird. but i can't seem to fix it. bleh.)

hollywouldn't

i cannot wait to see this movie! it so totally looks like the best movie ever! this in itself proves the people are getting smarter! um, sure. in any case, our govener is really tough. maybe not on crime, but certainly on his kids: squandering rich fool burns children's clothes. and speaking of celebs, a few nights ago i posted the pen cruz looks weird, and as if to prove my point, she is actually getting even weirder looking. check out her nose tan. it's too bad for her that she can't do anything to fix that pesky tan problem tho. cameron diaz, on the other hand, who hates her saggy butt, has options. she can either stop eating unhealthily, start exercising, or add nipples. to quote a famous dr, "fat is only ugly until you put a nipple on it!" word. oh and one more thing. chris klein really is a rather sad case. but he's still not as pathetic as his would-have-been-wife katie holmes. she's always at things: movie premiers, product parties, fashion shows... but you kno wat she's not in? a movie. or a tv show. or anything to do wit acting. and wait... isn't she an actor? i kno that showing up to these things is supposed to promote your career. but that requires you to actually have a career. wtf are you as an actor doing, if not acting? certainly not taking advantage of the miracle dr. zizlesse has introduced to us all.

covergirl

holy moly, two updates in a day two days in a row! that's right people. want to see more doubles? well, here's the cover of mariah carey's new album: emancipation of mimi (wtf kind of album name is that anyway?) which is glaringly like christina aguilera's cover of her album stripped. practically mirror images. weird tho. facially, mariah actually looks a bit like christina wit a bit of beyonce mixed in. lol. maybe it's a picture of beyonce posing as christina wit christina's face photoshopped in.
anyway, on to more serious matters: bush doesn't know the meaning of the word sovereign. he tries to pass it off as if he does but just ends up looking more stupid. kind of makes you want to join the other team. well, now you can! in gta: urban jihad (surprisingly difficult game to play). and if anyone can find me the font they used in the background, send it over and i'll give you a pat on the back.

eat my shorts

wow. look at all the stupid things people do to their cars (after pic 8 things get weirder). anyway, after looking at that you must be feeling somewhat stupid so go learn something using google talk. it's weird but at the same time kind of hilarious. i put in 'girls eat their' and got: 'girls eat their mothers meat from tubes of toothpaste.' so wat then do boys eat? 'boys eat their own cooking? and cleaning.' word. and now that you're all warmed up, go read something a bit longer, like those 'choose your own adventure' books from when we were kids. here's a set of new books in the same series (page two is quite funny). and for those of you interested in naruto or matrix, here is the narutrix: re-ninja'd.

pot calling kettle...

altho mary-kate olsen probably need not worry about rape, wat wit the way she's dressed (who really wants to rape a starving homeless person?), she still might want to consider getting one of these scary freaking tampon things... but seriously. how smart is that thing? 'oh, let me insert this thing. so that when a rapist tries to rape me, he can bleed all into me and i can get his scary freaking diseases.' gross. but anyway. it seems that catholicism is scary. too scary, in fact, for kids who believe that catholics indulge in canabalism. but seriously, wat do they kno? kids are scary as hell too.

weird science

scientists these days has really changed. gone are the days of silly and utterly useless things like magic sand, which is really damn cool btw. and as soon as it come out big time, imma buy me some. instead scientists are ushering a new era of bionic people like a suit that makes people super strong and a mechanical arm like the one will smith had in i-robot. scientists have appt also been able to figure out why baseball pitchers can't throw faster than around 100mph, even though throughout the years people have become increasingly better at other things: running and swimming faster, jumping further and higher... but now if only they could also figure out why bush has a penchant for bald men...

for me?

tonigh treepal said that he doesn't like reading my sites because "i kno it's gonna take forever." ...do you kno that i used to read his site even when that intro was up and i was on dailup? do you kno that i'd wait like fives mintues a time for the freaking thing to load? and to skip it would not have made much difference anyway? cause it'd take the same amount of time anyway? yes. i would wait. and damnit i would have read his webiste even if it had taken longer. why? cause i'm his f*cking girlfriend that's why. cause as the significant other you're supposed to care. and support and damnit, you're supposed to read their effing sites. esp if they update every damn day they're at school. and since you kno they update every night, why wait to add to the already unbearable load? why not just check every night and that way not only will you have done your duty, but the next time you check it won't "take forever." christ. was thinking about that one thanksgiving felicity episode when ben brings lauren to dinner after felicity and him have broken up because she cheated on him. people start flaring up at ben, and felicity defends him saying that he didn't do anything wrong. to which he replies that she's right, except to waste a year and a half on her. except that he really didn't. in every relationship you learn things, if you're smart anyway. and he learned that having a cheating girlfriend is bad. and yeah. that seems a little more than just obvious. but it happens, and all the time. people cheat. and you expect to not be cheated on. you expect that your boif will support your endevors, and yet... when telling others wat you want in a partner, it isn't enough to just say good dancer and lies rock music. you also have to say reliable, supportive, honest, stable, commited, sane, etc. cause from each relationship you learn that it's the obvious things that aren't so obvious.

'this shit right here is for you' / 'i could have never lived if it wasn't for you' / 'you would never known what you may put me through' / 'i'd do it for you'

sanjeev

nevashut is full of weirdness, but also goodness. check it out. a few things to try out: kiss, air guitar, jump around, dance, sing, wife, music, australia, nice hair, sex, work out, phone, break time, eat, rome, good looking, read a book... or if you've run out of things to say to sanjeev, go pick out random words from the cracked list. i won all five cans, i think it's just a timing issue. but have fun anyway!

hella weird

i actually posted this a while ago, that spiderman is a biblical hero, but it looks like the pope has decided to meet spidy on his own terms (but seriously, wat is he wearing and why is he standing like that?). in other news, sleeping cats look stupid and evil fish roam deep seas, except for this happy little guy (gallery). and but the crazies also live on land. living proof? this guy for whom tattoos just aren't enough. and this lady, for whom plain ol' chili, just aint good enough. and how can we forget this other guy, who is retardly obsessed wit video games (from now on, every night, i will count my lucky stars that reep only really plays tekken...).

sailing

reep and i, expectedly, are doing well. cut a peice of paper wit pinking sheers and that edge is our relationship. tonight he told me that he thinks he likes me more than before. i was suprised. would've asked 'before wat?' but he had to go. a conversation for another day i guess. but (and this will sound retardedly obvious) when we don't have problems we do fabulously well. we do actually get along quite well. we're rather similar in interests and tastes. well, no, i take that back. but we're functionally similar and similarly functional, you kno wat i mean? so when we're not fighting, we're great. and since currently we're not fighting, we're in an upswing. i hadn't known it was so high, but appt, as can be inferred from reep's comment tonight, i guess we're doing rather well. no thanks, however, to others. it seriously pisses me off that people constantly interfere. and yes, i am one to talk. when i knew of the actual situation, i stepped out. i cut him off and cut him out. when i knew that enough time had passed, i re-entered. i did, however, underestimate my womanly and wiley charms because he started liking me again. but damnit, at least i tried. i think originally i thought 'well, why should i bother to think for him? it's his relationship. he can do as he pleases.' but that's selfish. because you can never count on others to do the right thing. and because of that, if you see a situation where you can do good to change it, you should. you shouldn't depend on others (silly psychological problem, learned about that in pysch class. damn stupid followers. be a leader!) to do the right thing because they're thinking the same thing, that why don't you do the right thing instead of they! do you see the problem? idiots all around. anyway. i wish people would respect others more. would you like me to come in a ruin your relationship? no? then don't cause problems in mine. f*ck the golden rule, go silver. buddha (and confucious) said it best: do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire. word.

'your stupid face just makes me sick' / 'you think it's cool and all is fine' 'you'll never see the truth' / 'i hate the way you make me feel. i hate the way you think you're real' / 'this is my time' / 'your one voice, it destroys my one choice' / 'everything i lose is just a piece of what there is to gain' / 'i am what you will be' / 'nunca vas a ver'

hiii-yaaa!

if you've ever read brave new world by huxley then this smell-o-vision should be somewhat familiar. appt the mysterious and ever industrious 'they' are devolping a tv that also (sorta) projects smell. weird. i wonder, will this change the world of anal sex porn (wait, i don't kno if that smells...) okay. will this change the world or fecal porn? um... anyway. enough about that... but in other realms of the human imagination, whoever came up wit the idea of shakeskin is just weird. seriously. but more weird than the people who submitted photos? i dunno... but i do kno that none of them are more weird than these ninja nuns (scoll bar on left. and yayaya. i kno they aren't nuns. but that doesn't make it any less weird.). and in closing, a mildly entertaining stick fight.

silver screen?

i don't get it, why is it called the silver screen? anyway. i always thought penelope cruz was incredibly gorgeous. but i think somehow she's gotten worse. i don't kno how either. cause it's not like her skin is bad. it's her actual face. like, her nose and ears and head shape and jaw. she looks really damn weird. who knew? at any rate. i was going thru ebay tonight and found all these matrix movie posters i've never before seen matrix reloaded: neo face, trinity face, morpheus face, and niobe. kind of want the neo one. don't kno why. i don't even really like keanu, he's a terrible actor. also haven't ever seen this poster from the first matrix, this signed poster. i don't remember that background. i guess it wasn't a popular one. which is good. cause it looks all cheesy. and for those of you who, like me, loved life aquatic (cool site, btw, catchy music), here's a buncha movie paraphernalia (paging my sugar daddy...): red cap!, and assorted intern shirts.   btw, i think imma go buy that movie poster. and just maybe the cd. so cool! kno for sure tho, that imma get the dvd as soon as it comes out. yay! btw, shannon, short nails OR long nails. not both. eesh.

dead tired

well hm... if someone can get a patent on the peanut butter and jelly sandwhich now, maybe i should go file for a patent on hamburger, cheeseburger, and pizza. americans will no longer be able to eat anything at all! and they will all pay millions to me to eat their fatty fatty foods! and because they will have given practically all their money to me then they will have to visit the legoland disneyland. yep. someone has a little too much time on their hands. and if you have you have too much time on your hands, go watch this kind of neato cool commercial and then go play whizball. it's pretty hard. bleh. am tired. btw. everyone has been dying lately. who's next. could it be you?!

erm...

it's hard to come up wit the right thing to say when someone tells you that something terrible just happend to them. and for those of you who think the useless 'i'm sorry' is good enough, wtf are you sorry for anyway? huh? think you control the world or something and can make things happen or not happen? sheesh. but anyway. it's difficult to say the the right thing. some of it does, however, have to do wit the fact that different people want to hear different things. and so you have to tailor your responses. problem wit that is tho, that you don't kno wat they want to hear anyway! should you offer suggestions on how to fix the problem? or should you just sympathize? bleh. then you feel bad for not helping them feel better. pleh...

'what do you need from me tonight' 'the truth is so complicated now' 'i can't pretend it's alright' 'maybe we'll find a way somehow'

smiley joe

let's start off tonight's update wit games. a really hard one is gyroball. serioulsy, really hard. another game. not so hard, but tgat requires more thinking and less refleces is oshiro. this one has very pretty music. i'm keeping it on my desktop just for the background noise. and moving on to the news... a man was stuck in a elevator for three days. eesh! it's only too bad he got stuck after delivering the food, or he wouldn't have had to go hungry. but besides the whole starvation and dehydration issue, one can certainly get lonely, being all... alone... for three days. maybe he ought to do like ozzy and talk to his knees. um... right. and in other news. a gentleman has offered to pay millions to paris for just being herself. isn't he a sweetheart? he must have seen a picture of her and thought 'gee, she's really thin. she must be starving. and wat's more. she has too be really really poor. look at her lack of clothing. poor girl. i think i'll give her some money.' pretty cool.

i love, i love!

i invite you to view pictures of the 2006 bmw z4. i don't much like it. but i dunno. i didn't like the z4 at all when it came out. i liked the z3 much better. but now, i'm about even. both are beautiful cars. it doesn't really compare to the vanquish, but then, wat really does? oh, wait, strike that. at the top of my list are the panoz esperante (05 more than 04) and ferrari f430 and each of the three aston martins: vanquish, db9, and vantage). also love the viper srt-10, ford shelby gr-1 and their mustange mach1 fastback. and of course, the much appreciated bently continental gt (nix the brown leather tho. i like it black). used to love the lotus elise and the chrysler me 4-12, but not so much anymore. wat has replaced the elise however, is the sport exige. beautiful. eesh. looking at these pictures it's totally obvious wat kind of car i like... sleek but still brawny. just like how i like my men! :) btw, my car. my baby. am currently deciding between the names of christie and selena. any other suggestions? anyway, while you're at it, here's a link to a bunch of pictures from the 2005 la car show. went to the '04 one, it was great. didn't really think about going this year, but next year? i'll be there. but until then... i'm taking application for a sugar daddy/mommy. no resumes or bank statements needed. just send over any brand new car on this list for me to keep and i'll consider you. send over any of the cars on my most wanted list and i will seriously consider you. good luck! oh. and one more thing, lamborghinis i don't like. unless it's the 350 gtv. now there's a golden oldie. hm... i could go on and on about cars and all their splendorous beauty but well, this beautiful splendor herself needs some sleep. regular 'funny' updates resume romrow for the rest of the week until the weekend.g'night y'all.

mr & m(r)s?

you kno wat's a pretty good show? maximum exposure. it's on kind of latish at night. funny stuff. want to see an episode? dl that and others here (altho you'll have to sign up). at any rate. you kno wat's kind of weird? getting the winning lotto numbers from a fortune cookie. but wat if you and your hubby win the jackpot together? you gonna put that in your joint bank account, or split it into seperate ones? i've always thought that a married couple should share a bank account. having seperate ones just seemed like a really bad idea (maybe it was from reading the joy luck club that i feel this way?). but appt it works, read about it here. anyway, enough wit the seriousness, go find out the 10 best and worst couples of all time.

world domination

bleh, spring break is over. and so is spring cleaning. so if you finally cleaned your basement of all those dead bodies, maybe it's also time you got into crafts and skinned off the faces and made them into clothing. or, you can save the time, pour quicklime over those bodies, and just get this apron of flesh. and since you saved time from not sewing all those skins together a la that crazy guy besides hannibal from silence of the lambs, you can go figure out 13 things that even scientists don't get. then you should tell me. and i'll tear your arguements apart and make fun of you for being stupid and make you feel so bad about yourself you develop an eating disorder to cope and i will steal your ideas and write and publish a paper that stuns the world of science and everyone will praise me even more than ever before because i can write amazingly long sentences linking fragments together by using only one conjusction over and over and over. yes. that's right. i rule. and you suck. and smell. damnit. 'you smell so bad, i wish a deoderant suicide bomber would run up under your armpit and explode.' word.