apathy

so reep left today. i'm actually kind of relieved i didn't go. i doubt we would have had a good time wit each other. we have definitly not been getting along lately. when we are out we constantly say things that piss each other off. every 10 minutes we have an uncomfortalbe moment. ...you kno wat's really sad tho? when we're happy together, all i have to do is simply think 'i love you'. and i get happy. and i only need to say myself 'i love you'. to get this stupid little smile. but now. that we're not in that happy place. even him saying it to me gets nothing. i normally really love saying it to him. i actually get pleasure out of telling him that i love him. how weird is that? but now... i hear it and i say it back. because i kno i do, even if i'm not totally feeling it.

'if i had known back then whatever i know now, i'd think i’d have answers but i don’t know why' / 'quietly thinking to myself: this sad exchange pleased neither one of us.' 'so we finally gave up' / 'don't tell me what i’m trying to say to you'

'no talking when i want you to listen'

karma

remember that story from a while ago that involved those who girls were passing cookies around the neighborhood? anyway. oh crap. i just went to go retrieve that article but it's gone! expired! capoot! damn. anyway. some radio station went and had a fundraiser and raised those girls a gripload of money. wat's more, now that lady and her husband are hated on by everyone in that neighborhood. and people are harrassing them. lol... that's wat you deserve, jerks!

finefinefine. i kno that was kind of a letdown. i kno you come to my site to read all the articles i post. me wit my good taste and all. so here's another, totally unrelated to cookies! lampost kills dog!

two-faced bitch

okay. so i kno i pretty much said that i wouldn't care anymore, and yet i do. reep came online and said that he just realized that he won't be seeing me until monday. which means for sure i'm not going. which means for sure that he's not gonna ask for the car. which, after wat happened last night, seems to only make sense. at yet here i am kind of upset. i dunno wat i was expecting. for him to pull thru? didn't i just say like three posts ago that i was no longer going to expect that of him? argh. even then... me making this resolution. how could i have thought that it was actually going to really work, me turning myself off to disapointment? it's only been a week for god's sake. i guess i just hadn't factored in such a large disapointment so soon. thought it'd be something small (over sleeping or osmething) then i'd be able to build my way up to a big one. ...wat the fuck am i saying? holy shit it sounds like i'm just expecting to be let down. ...wtf is my problem? 1) i should have more faith in him and 2) why am i in a relationship where i expect for my boif to let me down and where i feel the need to built up myself so that i cannot be disapointed by the inevitable letdown? good god... this is wat happens when you step back and examine your life. you realize all the stupid contradictions that take away all the worth. jesus suffering fuck...

'help me to realize my dream is dying' / 'help me to wait on you, hesitate it too, cause i'm alone' / 'feel so jaded, contemplative, waiting for you' / 'can you wait for me a little longer?' / 'time will tell if all turns out ok'

watta gas

the weirdest scariest shit happened to reep last night. i'm not going to tell you wat tho, cause i'm an ass. lol... but seriously. the weirdest and scariest shit happened to reepal last night. all i gotta say is, 'reep, go buy yourself a freaking lotto ticket, cause lady luck is traveling in your passenger seat.' i, however, don't need the lotto to tell me wat i already kno: i'm a winner. :)  (i'm in a good mood, go figure) btw, just for somewhere to post this, anberlin is my new favorite band. (btw, fuel should be spelled feul. just say it. fffeeeuuuullll. told you.)

'feel everything on fire and i'm dressed to kill' 'so look the other way tonight' / 'time will tell if all turns out ok'

artsy fartsy

more about animals: bug bunny gets an extreme makeoever for his new show 'loonatics'. (get it? how very very witty!) i think they look weird, and maybe it's just me, but it took me a second to realize which one was bugs. ...whoa, did you realize his name is bugs? as in insects? ...yeah... i just... never really realized that. how stupid of me. anyway. not only are animals staring in art, they are also making it. and doing quite well actually. elephants painting and their finished masterpeice. when i first saw this picture i literally started crying. i mean, holy shit! effing elephants painted that!! i can't can't paint nearly half as well. not even an eighth! (whoa that's a weird looking word wit its h's so close together.) ...i am just having a night of epiphanies. btw, did you kno i'm gay? lol. just kidding. seriously tho, i'm smart. well... smarter anyway than this monk who glued his eyes shut cause he confused superglue wit eyedrops. yep, he confused them even tho at that point he could still see! told you i was smarter than that... now if only i could paint like elephants i'd be the perfect woman!

just desserts

once reep and i were out driving at night. and some dude in front of us flicked his cigarette out the window. it somersaulted and sparked and freaked reepal out. it's only too bad that his car didn't catch on fire like this guy's car did. lol... talk about getting wat's coming to you... it's only too bad tho that he couldn't pee the fire out, like this other guy did by peeing his way out of an avalanche trapped car. cheers!