hands off

i don't like to hug. i don't even really like to shake hands. it's not that i worry about sweaty hands, b.o., or germs, i just like my personal space. juliet lapidos wrote an article for slate about the newish trend of hugging everybody and anybody hello and goodbye, and how she doesn't like it either.

lapidos writes: "Granted, with the right person, I enjoy a well-placed hug. The right persons include: blood relations, my boyfriend, and close friends. By "well-placed" I mean before or after a lengthy separation, as a form of congratulation (you're getting married!), as a means of consolation (you're getting divorced?), or to ward off hypothermia. That's about it (though I should specify that I waive the category requirements for my boyfriend)."

maybe it's because i'm from a typically non-affectionate asian family, but i'm even less into hugging that lapidos is. i only really like hugs from my boyfriend. and from others, i only want hugs to fend off the cold. my best friends know this, so they'll hug each other when we meet up and say goodbye, but i get just a "hello!" or "see you later!" and actually, for many years a constant complaint from my boyfriend was that i wasn't physically affectionate enough. even today, i don't think we're very into pda. we sit across each other at restaurants, i'll always choose an empty seat over his lap; unless it's cold, we don't generally walk with our arms around each other (though we do hold hands); and we don't ever make out in public (i'm actually pretty sure that we've got out for hours at a time and said goodbye and not kissed at all, just forgetting to).

honestly, if it were entirely up to me, we'd probably have even less physical contact. when i drive, he likes to put his hand on my leg. but i drive stick and it's small car so he gets in my way. and when we spoon, i prefer to be in back, so that once he falls asleep i can move away and scratch myself, fidget, and whatever without disturbing him. but i swear, i love him!

i had a boss once who was normal at maintaining bodily personal space, but bad at keeping his fingers to himself. haha, that sounds weird and creepy. but no. if i were handing him the stapler, i would keep my fingers on the end of it, so my hand doesn't cover more than even half of it. but when taking the stapler, he would grab onto the whole thing, so his fingers would touch mine. the first few times this happened i wondered if there was something he was trying to tell me. but no. he just didn't notice where his fingers went.

...i sound like a crazy person. but really, i'm not. i don't need everyone to stay 3 feet away from me. i sit next to people, even strangers. i don't care. ...tho i hate it when i'm waiting in line and the person behind me keeps bumping into me. anyway. until reading this article i didn't realize how many people are like me. ::fingers crossed::, maybe most people are "non-hugger[s] who hug" and we're just so afraid of offending people or appearing standoffish that we let these huggy people invade our space.

i, for one, try to get out of hugging people as hard as i can. i stay on the edges, hold onto stuff, fake being occupied, and leave early. it works pretty well. :)