meow!

that "i'm the only one who tries" comment has been retracted. thank god. i thought i was crazy for a second there. thinking that all this effort i'm putting forth is actually a sign of not trying. all this stressing and sleeping and weight loss has been for simple stagnation. well anyway. going to the fair today wit everyone. and boy do i mean that... grace, jose, jason, khoa, jon, erin, and two of her classmates. and yes, reepal too. he's driving himself over to irvine. managed to get the car. good for him. and yes, good for me. here's looking forward to the alaskan pig race. yeeha!

'self pity me so pitiful' 'you can see that birds and worms don't get along' / 'self righteous me so wrong' 'you can see that we don't have to get along' / 'self pity me so pitiful' 'you can see that birds and worms do not agree' 'and we will crawl'

royally crazy

Otto, younger brother of Ludwig II, decided the only way to preserve his own sanity was to shoot a peasant each day. Every morning he would start taking pot-shots at the peasants working in the royal garden. As staff numbers dropped, one servant was given the task of loading the king's pistol with blanks while another dressed as a peasant and pretended to fall down dead when Otto shot him.  

Queen Juana of Spain worshipped her husband Philip, who died in 1506, so much that she refused to allow him to be buried and had his coffin accompany her wherever she went.  

Charles VI of France was convinced he was made of glass. So, he hated traveling by coach in case the vibration caused him to shatter into a thousand pieces. He also started prowling  the corridors of the royal palace, howling like a wolf, causing Queen Isabeau to no longer want to share a bed with him. She found a lookalike, Odette de Champdivers, to take her place. Every night for 30 years, Odette wore the Queen's clothes in the royal bed and Charles never once spotted the deception.  

Henry Christophe, King of Northern Haiti, ordered his guards to prove their loyalty to him by marching over a 200ft-high cliff. Those who obeyed plunged to their deaths; those who refused were tortured and executed. Henry Christophe ended up shooting himself.  

Catherine the Great of Russia, discovering that she had dandruff, imprisoned her hairdresser in an iron cage for three years to stop the news spreading. Enchanted by a primrose in the royal garden, she posted a sentry to guard the plant day and night.  

Philip, Prince of Calabria, the eldest son of Charles XIII of Spain, was mad about gloves and was known to wear 16 pairs at any one time.

effortless

erin wants to go to the oc fair. so we're were planning to go romrow. jose's been wanting to go for a swim so in the afternoon jose, jon, erin and i were gonna go swim before heading over to the fair. grace might come too. i asked reep, who asked me to drive over to cypress to pick him up and bring him to irvine. i asked if he could come wit jose as they live less than a block away from each other. understand tho that reep doesn't much like jose.

Rip N La (5:04:46 PM): yeah, you know i dont like him already, why would i want to ride with him when no one III know is even going to be around
Neurp (5:05:26 PM): becuase it's such a hassel for me to drive up there when he lives like a block away from you. you're going to the same palce and doing the same thing!
Rip N La (5:05:49 PM): fine, have fun.
Rip N La (5:05:55 PM): im going home now
Neurp (5:05:58 PM): you're kidding
Rip N La (5:06:28 PM): no, im not kidding, im just tired of being the only one who tries.
Rip N La signed off at 5:06:34 PM.

...you gotta be kidding me. you're the only who fucking tries?! yesterday (tuesday) i was supposed to pick him up right after school and bring him back to irvine where we could hang out. after i get back home i call him. he asks when we need to be back in irvine, i say around 4 for erin. he says that's not enough time. i ask for wat, he says ...i forget. anyway. he also says he's too tired, wishes to sleep a bit more. i say i'll call him when erin gets home. it's nearly 5pm already and she's still not home. i call him and tell him i'm coming anyway. don't want to waste any more time. i drive to cypress; it takes me nearly an hour and a half in traffic. pick him up, go to lincoln video, get gas, and take him to wendys. drive back to irvine. eat, watch two movies, take him back to cypress and come home exhausted. ...but no, you're right, you are the only that tries.

fumiko enchi - "masks" (book)

"Which is only a poetic way of saying you're in love. These days it's the style for women to be glamorous, but I think ultimately a man's love for a woman is based on a kind of instinctive yearning for smallness and fragilitity; the feeling manifests itself in a hundred ways. And that's why you prefer to see Yasuko as a child. As a matter of fact, she's a far stronger person than you give her credit for." (13-14)

"To his mind there were four kinds of beautiful skin. The first he likened to porcelain: finely grained and flawless in sheen, but marked by a hardness and chill. The second he compared to snow: duller and more coarsely grained, with a deep whiteness and an inner warmth and softness that belied its cold surface. Next was what he called the textile look, what others called silken; this was the complextion most prized by Japanese women, yet it had no virtue in Mikame's eyes beyound a flat, smooth prettiness. To be supremely beautiful, he thought, a woman's skin had to glow with the internal life-force of spring's ealiest buds unfolding naturally in the sun." (15)

"Although she treated him with every sign of the warmest affection when they were alone, once they parted she never made the slightest attempt to seek him out. Her attitude was not that on an innocent and moral woman, but, indeed, that of an experienced whore -- one who had mastered every skill." (91)

static cling

so i don't kno how many of you kno this about me. but clingy people 1) freak me out and 2) piss me off. it annoys me to no end that certain people seem incapable of doing anything by themself. it's not even just that they simply won't get away from me. but also that they don't even get that i'm repulsed by them.

another thing. i've lost a lot of weight lately (stressed i guess) but realized also that i've been sleeping more than usual. or maybe not sleeping, but just being really damn tired. i guess it's my way of dealing wit the stuff that's been happening lately. =\

'i lost my edge on things when i lost my head.' 'thought my intentions were better; tried to put mind over matter.' 'and we're back at the end all over again' / 'but there is no chance i'm gonna do it again. if you missed it the first time, then it's nine to ten that you will again' / 'don't you know they ain't never gonna help you anyway.' / 'and then what can i say; what can i do to you?'

great gatsby quotes

"Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope."

"This is a valley of ashes - a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat…"

"The rich get richer and the poor get — children."

"It is invariably saddening to look through new eyes at things upon which you have expended your own powers of adjustment."

"I found myself on Gatsby’s side, and alone."

"tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further…And one fine morning - / So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

shorn

got my hair cut today. 14 inches total. 12 to donate and another 2 for styling. ...i didn't take it as badly as i thought i was going to but... it was still pretty hard. =\

before

after

don't even look like the same freakin person... erin says i look younger. reep says older. jose says that then on average i must look my age. finally! but anyway, i got this more conservative haircut now. when i get back from china i'm going to get a more modern one. but again. eek!

hollywood happenings.

*"sandra bullock weds mechanic". lol... gotta love that headline. *rob zombie fears clowns but not zombies? *village people cop arrested for drugs. oh, the irony! *jessica simpson has the force? check out her giving the dude a high five; from 10 feet away and backwards! *stars before and now. some have changed a lot! and others not so much. sharon stone however has definitely changed for the worse.

postsectret

new postsecret.

wat would be on your postcard?

step(ping) away

I liked you
You showed me
These calls must continue

Time is collapsing in my head
I built all the walls you can't come in
You were the one that called me last
I highly doubt this thing will last

Chorus:
Sticks and stones, they hurt
When you shoot them through the phone
And you dragged my name through dirt
And it hurts to be left here all alone

Elegant thoughts I will not share
My symphonic silence
I hope you can bare it, baby
I liked you
You showed me
Exactly who I don't wanna be

Chorus

I'll always look for you
I'll always look for you
No stone was left unturned

You were the one that called me last
I highly doubt this thing will last
Cause you were the one that messed up

Chorus

Sticks and stones get shot through the telephone
With instant results, we're both left alone

fixer ups

*i say paris hilton isn't a ho but google insists that she is! *in case you've ever watned to turn your hamster into a fighting machine, here's how. *world's ugliest dog. be prepared to have nightmares! *and in case you're small on top but can't afford the surgury or are too scared of the pain, go buy some bust-up gum. but be sure to stock up because the effects don't last so you'll need to buy "maintainance dosages". erm sure...

sexiest song ever

boyz II men - hey lover


It was Harlem at the rukus
I saw you with your man, a smile on your face, huh,
A Coach bag in your hand
I was laying in the coupe with my hat turned back
We caught eyes for a moment and that was that
So I skated off as you strolled off
Looking at your legs, god damn, they look so soft (so fine)
I gotta take you from your man, that's my mission
If his love is real he's got to handle competition
You only knew him for five months, that's right
Besides he drinks too much and smokes too many blunts
And I'll be working out everyday thinking about you
Looking at my own eyes in the rear view
Catching flashbacks of our eye contact
Wish I could lay you on your stomach and caress your back
I would hold you in my arms and ease your fears
I can't believe it, I ain't had a crush in years

chorus:
Hey lover, hey lover,
This is more than a crush,
Hey lover, hey lover,
This is more than a crush, lover,
Hey lover, this is more than a crush,
Hey lover, hey lover,
This is more than a crush

I see you at the bus stop waiting every day
Your man must think it's safe for you to travel that way
And I don't want to violate your relationship
So I'll lay back in the cut with a crush that's a trip
Still he can't stop me from having daydreams
Tongue'n you down with huh, vanilla ice cream
Kissing on your thighs in the moonlight
Searching you body with my tongue girl all night
I wonder one day could it be, (I wonder)
Simple dreams could turn into reality
Our love would come down so naturally
We would walk down the aisle of destiny
Would your man get his hustle on, got your type scared
Break your off a little chump change to do your hair
It seems to be enough to satisfy your needs
But there's a deeper level if you follow our lead

repeat chorus

Last week I saw you at the mall
Standing at the pay phone about to make a call
I had a vision it was me on the other end
Telling you come by and then you walked in
I touched you gently with my hands
We talked about traveling to distant lands
Escaping all the madness out here in the world
Becoming my wife no longer my girl
Then you let your dress fall down to the floor
I kissed you softly and you yearned for more
We experienced pleasure unparalleled
Into an ocean of love we both fell
Swimming in the timeless currents of pure bliss
Fantasies interchanging with each kiss
Undying passion unites our souls
Together we swim until the point of no control
But, it's a fantasy, it won't come true
We never even spoke and your man swears he loves you
So, I'm gonna keep all these feelings inside, that's right
Keep my dreams alive until the right time

repeat chorus

props

erin has hung out wit quite a few of 'my' people lately: reep, leo, tom, tsai, tsai's sister, grace, jose, john, khoa, jason, chris, and monica. she likes them all. :) she's very... detailedly observant, you kno wat i mean? she always takes something away from how people either do or don't talk to her tho, which i definitely think is a good factor in judging people. i always try to make it a point that while she is from taiwan she's majoring in english so her english skills are really good. and yet some people still don't talk to her much. =\ at any rate, special mention goes to reep, leo and jose.

'wonder who's finding all this a game' / 'somehow, the look seems to fall off your face' / 'keep all the message and make it your sound' / 'if you want more, take some advice': 'walk out and face up the day'

carl sagan - "contact" (book)

"You see, the religious people—most of them—really think this planet is an experiment. That's what their beliefs come down to. Some god or other is always fixing and poking, messing around with tradesmen's wives, giving tablets on mountains, commanding you to mutilate your children, telling people what words they can say and what words they can't say, making people feel guilty about enjoying themselves, and like that. Why can't the gods leave well enough alone? All this intervention speaks of incompetence. If God didn't want Lot's wife to look back, why didn't he make her obedient, so she'd do what her husband told her? Or if he hadn't made Lot such a shithead, maybe she would have listened to him more. If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why didn't he start the universe out in the first place so it would come out the way he wants? Why's he constantly repairing and complaining? No, there's one thing the Bible makes clear: The biblical God is a sloppy manufacturer. He's not good at design, he's not good at execution. He'd be out of business if there was any competition."

weird town names

Horneytown, North Carolina  

Whynot, North Carolina  

Hicksville, Ohio  

Knockemstiff, Ohio  

Slaughterville, Oklahoma  

Idiotville, Oregon  

Virginville, Pennsylvania  

Sweet Lips, Tennessee  

Ding Dong, Texas  

Looneyville, Texas  

Butts, Virginia  

Imalone, Wisconsin  

Toad Suck, Texas  

Intercourse, Pennsylvania  

Unalaska, Alaska  

French Lick, Indiana 

hairy fairy!

oh! i forgot (even tho even in the song lyrics of the last post it talked about hair, lol)! i thought it was funny that erin made no mention of al2's shit haircut! altho, lol, i guess i really shouldn't be the one to talk shit about people's hair (but mine was years ago! speaking of which. a few people have commented that i have fabulous hair. i think they're all deluded. long hair does not equal beautiful hair. i have split ends galore and not much volume). but wit the topic of hair, she also didn't talk about the ears or baldspot. which, to give al2 credit, i think everyone has, it's just the way your hair swirls on your head. some are more fortunate, others less. also on the topic of hair? i'm thinking sometime next week i'll finally go in for my haircut (monday or wednesday maybe) (will post before and after photos) eek! 10 inches gone! (do you kno about this? i'm donating my cut hair. which is why it needs to be 10 inches and is also why i've been growing it out.) altho really this won't be nearly as bad as those years ago when i really hacked off my nearly all my hair. and god knows this is for a far better reason than 'i just wanted to see wat i looked like wit short hair'. yay for locks of love! hazzah!

solidarity

i told erin (a friend from taiwan who's living wit me for the summer) a while ago about the stuff between reep, al2 and me. and on this last sunday we went to db together and coincidentally al2 sat in front of erin on the boat. i didn't say anything to her while we were there. nor did i treat al2 any differently than i treated others (i didn't really talk to anyone much that day, just erin really). but later as we were driving back to lp i asked if she remembered me telling her about al2 and told her who it was. erin immediately went off on how she doesn't like her either. lol. see, when we were on the water, phil asked for her name and had everyone say hello. both boats did so but i guess al2 didn't. i asked erin how she knew al2 didn't as she was sitting in front of her but erin pointed out that she should have at least tipped her head around when saying hello (she also pointed out that agatha, al2's rowing partner did). and i agree that either way (saying it and not turning around or just not saying it) seems rather rude. erin then started pointing all this other stuff: how she wears makeup to db (i always thought this was weird too. we're exercising for god's sake, wat's wit the eyeliner?) and how she wears it poorly (too much foundation/powder and in the wrong color [i never noticed, not wearing much makeup myself]). then she said al2 has fatty arms which i totally did not see. i've not paid attention to her arms or anything but db is an all body sport so i think maybe erin was just begin picky (or who knows, maybe just super observant)? she then started divining these things about her attitude saying that she seems a bit erm... well i kno the chinese but... i guess. petulant? peevish? well, you get the point. and how she thinks that al2 purposely acts 'coy' to get to reep. which i don't think so. i think she may be a bitch but not a wiley two faced bitch. if that's any consolation, lol. but anyway. i just thought i'd share this bit of hilarity wit yous all.

'relating to the rawness of a fuckin lost kid' 'trying so hard to become': '“you keep shootin' those glances'. 'you keep trippin' on everything I wear, every time I swear, even when it comes to my hair'. 'i'm not a dumb fool in your life'! 'now do you trip?' 'are you still tripping on me?”' yep!

incredibles

seeing as how they can now bring dogs back to life, maybe they should also try to resurrect some of these freaking stupid sheep. not that they in their all fantastical idiocy deserve to live or anything, but because you gotta feel bad for those villagers... *freaking incredible magic mcdonald's guy. *coolish flower hybrid program thing.

ringing true?

so you kno about the issue wit reep and me about our rings? ...issue seems a bit harsh, but anyway. about reep and me and that ring. i've never gotten to putting it back on. i wear others ones now. i still wear the coach one he got me but as for our engraved ones i got in taiwan... i put mine away. i somewat resented it that he liked it so much that i wore mine and yet he didn't wear his. watever his reason. then was reading postsecret the other day and came onto this. ...i used to think that too. that he didn't wear it because it really was that he didn't love me. i rather quickly shelved that idea but christ almighty watta freaking trip to read this post. =\

'i've found my perfect space' 'to crawl back inside of myself' / 'i cut my losses to save face' 'i do what it takes to pull me through'

yarm

as you may kno, the backstreet boys are back but they're having a hard time selling tickets. but maybe if they kicked out two of those guys and substitued wit these two guys their concerts would sell out again: megafunside indeed. and speaking of megafun, check out the pictures from the world beard and moustache championships. make sure to check out the gallery of contestants and champions. :}o  and altho this isn't quite as megafun as the rest, this is definitly just as weird. click here to see ryu and chun-li from street fighter dance away in the korea salsa competition.

unwelcome

you kno wat i hate? when you do something for someone and they don't properly thank you. makes you never want to do anything for that person again. ...okay. that makes it sound like i only do things to get the thanks, which so isn't true. but it would be nice if your efforts were appreciated. it doesn't even have to be a big thing. a way simple 'thanks' is really good enough. esp when you give someone something that they would have wanted had they known it existed. or if they ask you something and you go looking for it, even if you don't find it you should at the very least be thanked for trying. ...i dunno. maybe it's just me and my thing for ettiquette and manners but really... it would seem as tho this shouldn't be too much to ask.

'and we give and we give but its all for nothing; its all for nothing' 'we try to resist but i give everything and its all for nothing' / 'spill the ink and spill your guts again'

emily dickinson

poem 1741

That it will never come again
Is what makes life so sweet.
Believing what we don't believe
Does not exhilarate.

That if it be, it be at best
An ablative estate --
This instigates an appetite
Precisely opposite.

photo update

eesh it's been a while. i'm getting lazy about updating. *mariah carey's abs. general consensus is that she drew them on, lol. *the white ho. hehe. *snake vs deer. altho it looks more like some sort of cow or something... *cow stuck in tree. stupid thing... *idiot woman gets name online casino tatooed on her effing forehead...