simple as that

things are still not better between reep and me. he's ignoring me actually. altho, i guess, i'm ignoring him too? no, i'm not. i'd gladly talk to him if he would me. but anyway. clip from his email:

'Do I intend to work things out? I dont know. Why are we even together? Because I dont know if I intend to work things out.  But I'm writing this email, so maybe I do want to work thinks out.'

he writes later tho that he does want to work things out. so that's good. ...but i'm tired. not of him. don't get me wrong. i'm just... i wish everything would work out. for the best. for everyone. i wish everyone was happy. i kno that sounds stupid and naive. but i've been talking to people and no one really is happy. everyone has complaints. which is only normal i suppose. life is suffering and all that. but really? i just wish everyone was happy.

'forget the bitter taste in your mouth' 'and do see that i'm sorry' / 'just try to understand' / 'take the time to see if my fists would lock on yours tonight' / 'i didn't think that you'd ever want to be this close to me' 'and now that it's late please understand that i'm not too close to what you were hoping for' / 'i didn't think you'd be like this' 'think you're right but you're so wrong' / 'never say things have changed' 'yes they have' 'it's not the same'

agha shahid ali - astrologer

The Fate of the Astrologer Sitting on the Pavement Outside the Delhi Railway Station

"Pay, pay attention to the sky,"

he shouts to passers-by.

The planets gather dust

from passing trucks.

vision(ary) lyrics

daphne loves derby - we bet the willing




The root of your tongue
Is losing grip of your heart
You're carving your way
Straight to the bones in your grave
And this is how we carry our ancient burdens
Long forgotten to protect

time flies

can you believe that four years has gone? reep and me. four years. done. lived. weathered. cherished. starting year five. incredible. seriously, incredible.

'whatever this has come to be'
'great value to the ones who need it'
'and in time we will see this through again'
'take the time to taste the blood we need'
'give me all that i'm asking for'
'satisfy and don't ever disappoint my faith'
'be true like you're always true to me'
'i'm sorry that i'm not good enough'
'lets make up something we will never taste'
'no matter what i'll be there'
'whatever it takes, i'll be there'
'give me all that i'm asking for'
'satisfy me'
'we're so much better than [i]'ll ever be'

jinx!

i really don't kno why / how i do it. i said just this afternoon to reep: 'i'm glad we're doing well right now' (or something like this). and wat happens? we get into a tiff. right. fight is really too harsh a word. anyway. i dunno. didn't really even kno how bad it was until later when i signed online and went away for 10 minutes. came back and reep hadn't, altho tom had, imed me. asked him if he was ignoring me. he said something like 'well, i didn't feel like iming you so if that's ignoring you then i guess i am.' yar. well, anyway...

'the days are running shorter by the hour' 'we'll look back and realize this was all we had' 'through the darkest nights and coldest moons' 'we'll be heart to heart, more than just [lovers]' 'of the times we had, of the hours we spent' / 'this has been the best years of our lives' 'lets pray that we can say these words forever'

geeks

*in case you should ever tire of the game rock / paper / scissors (which i kno i never will! just ask reep!) you can now go learn this version of the game. now instead of just the three, you get 15 different hand gesture things. and if you're really bored, you can also learn the 25 version. and no, i won't be learning them, so don't pull a 'nuke' on me the next time we play. *steve jobs very upset over the pirates of the carribean movie and proclaims that pirates will "burn in hell". strong words coming from a man named steve. ...wat? *and, lol, kno the products you're selling before you sell them, foo. *and when you have the time, cause this next link is quite time consuming, go read "the grand list of console rpg cliches". even i found most of them funny. but then, i have a stupid sense of humor so who knows?