dtf?

What Is Up With Random Dudes Emailing To Ask Me To Have Sex With Them?

this does happen. it hasn't happened to me, thank god, since no one assumes i'd want to cheat on my boyfriend of nearly a decade and half. but it has happened to a few of my girlfriends. one of whom, if you knew her even little bit, you would know that she is absolutely not be down to fuck. (that's what dtf stands for, btw. ...kids these days...)

"At the very least, get to know me first before you bring up such a request. Don’t assume all women are receptive to these sorts of comments."

i think it's weird that people would rather risk offending someone than taking the time to suss out the situation first. i mean, i guess that's reasonable, since you don't really care about that person anyway. so who cares if you offend them. but do you really want to be that person?

a year or two or something ago a guy i know, who knows i'm dating someone, asked me out. i was like. what?! it was so confusing! i've thought many a time that the best thing about facebook is that you can discreetly let people know that you're not available. not entirely sure what else it's good for, actually. in a later social media post he said that apparently he does this rather often, because, well, why not? if she's interested, she now knows he is open to the idea too. if she's not interested, no harm done.

except that there is harm done! i think differently of him now! in fact, i think less of him! we were never really friends. dragon boat acquaintances more like. and i now feel uncomfortable around him. i feel like he's disrespected me. if we had actually been friends, we might no longer be. i only see him a few times a year so i've done nothing to distance myself from him.

ugh. i honestly have no issues with the hook-up culture. if i were suddenly to become single i'd probably "make up for lost time," at least for a little bit. but i'm not single. so don't try to put that on me. and don't try to put that on people who clearly are not interested. in the movies, perseverance will get you the girl, or the job, or the whatever. but in real life, that amount of stubbornness will only get you a restraining order. i think it's better to err on the side of politeness and respect. READ HER SIGNS before you start sending her dick pics and random dtf inquiries. if she wants that stuff, she'll let you know.