kind vs nice

piggybacking off my last post, i felt like some people objected to my choice of kind. however, i think they were getting it confused with nice. i felt like there's a marked difference between kind and nice. but i couldn't quite put my finger on what the difference was, so i looked it up, and there is actually a whole thing on it. seriously, google kind vs nice and you'll see what i mean.

most people agree that kindness has to do with empathy and benevolence and that niceness has to do with being friendly, agreeable, and likeable.

yeah, i'm not nice. hahaha, i mean, i'm not unfriendly, disagreeable, and unlikeable, but i don't think those are quite the words that come to mind when thinking of me. i am, however, kind. you may not immediately agree since kindness is also associated with tenderness and gentleness, which i'm not particularly. but i'm also the person who yells this at random asshole drivers: "you fucker! i hope your car explodes! ...but only if no one is in it, or around it, and you can afford it!" see, i'm compassionate all the way!

it seems like some people are really against nice. a huffpost article says that "At the root of extreme niceness, however, are feelings of inadequacy and the need to get approval and validation from others. Overly-nice people try to please so that they can feel good about themselves." ...that's not a very nice thing to say. others go even further: "Kindness is rooted in GOOD, niceness is rooted in EVIL." the same post goes on to say that "Nice behavior is inherently dishonest." um... okay... but if you actually read the post, you can definitely see the point, and maybe even agree with the writer, at least a little bit. nice people do seem to be nice because they want people to like them, or to ease the situation. kind people are kind because they feel badly about stuff. and it's not just like, i'm much richer than you so here's a dollar, since truly kind people will give to others even when they've not much themselves.

i mean, obviously, you should be both kind and nice. there's certainly no rule saying you can't be both! but in choosing between the two, i'd much rather be kind.

3 words

i recently joined a new year-round paddling team, x-generals. they have each new member do a little video thing talking about themselves. to help you prep, they send you a list of questions beforehand. one of the questions was: describe yourself in three words. ...okay, not a question, but anyway.

i spent some time thinking about this and decided on kind, precise, and contradictory. but i think those are rather weak, especially contradictory, because, honestly, who isn't? so i asked a few friends what they thought. well, actually, i asked them what three words they would use to describe themselves. (i'm more interested to hear what others think about themselves than what they think of me, haha).

reepal: tall, funny, smart
th: declined to state
jl: tenacious, clever, loyal
ac: simple, honest, curious

ac then asked me why i was asking him and i told him. we then spent the next like 20 minutes talking about what he would choose for me. first he said community, assertive, honest. eventually he settled on community, assertive, brash. not as complimentary, lol.

in the end i think i'm going with volunteering, precise, curious. why volunteering and not community? because it's an adjective, whereas community is a noun. see, i am absolutely precise. hahahah. (btw, rip seemed a little confused when i said precise. partly i chose it because i can't use the word anal. but also because i am precise. i try to be careful when using my words and i like things to be done a certain way. rip seemed to get precise a little confused with accurate, which i am not as much.) currently i still like volunteering and precise, but am less satisfied with curious. maybe inquisitiveness or questioning?

what would you choose for you? or for me?

transgender law

i'm confused. for a transgendered man (i think this means was a woman is now a man), if the US military starts drafting people, will he get drafted? or if the US doesn't change the laws and "continues" to only draft men, will a transgendered woman be drafted?

...see this is one of the reasons the govt should not draft based on sex. made no freaking sense to begin with, makes even less sense now!

no offense

rip and i were talking about about transgenders recently. about how awkward it can be during the transition period. if people don't know you very well, how to people refer to you? i certainly don't want to offend you in anyway. but i guess i couldn't really offend you if i'm talking about you rather than to you (that sounds rude, but just something like "oh, i ran into jesse the other day. s/he was wearing the coolest shoes!")

since we were actually talking about a person rip knows, i asked how s/he dressed: more feminine or masculine? whichever you identify with more i'd refer to you as. rip said that he now wears earrings, but wore gender neutral clothes. ...well that's no help. rip said that he thinks he's on hormones, but he hadn't changed his name. but ricky can be a female's name too, ricki lake, for instance. (we don't know how he spells it)

rip said that another male to female he knows uses to women's restroom. i said that made sense since she identifies as a female, and, i guess in some way more importantly, dresses as a female. rip said that he thinks she hasn't had bottom surgery tho, so would i, as a woman, be uncomfortable with her in my restroom? i said only if she came in, whipped her penis out, and started peeing in the sink. i have no idea what she's doing in the stall so i don't care. tho it would weird me out a little if i looked over and saw feet facing the toilet while hearing peeing sounds. but as long as woman (a person looking female anyway) walked out, i'd be okay with that. i said that it seemed much easier that she use a women's bathroom than men's bathroom because it would take basically no explaining at all. even if she used a urinal in a men's room, there'd still be the awkward moment when she walks in and no one knows what to think.

i emphasized "identifying as" rather than already fully transitioned, since transitioning can take a lot of time and money. also, i have no idea what's in your pants, even if you did get surgery to change it, so it would seem a little weird to refer to you by whatever is in there.

rip said the "identifying as" thing bothered him. what if he identified as a little person? what if he was tired of everyone thinking of him as tall so he decided to live life as a much shorter person? i feel that analogy is a very poor one, since, well, you're either short or tall, you can't really "fake" it. it's not like gender, where you can change your name, wear another style of clothing, and have people refer to you as another pronoun.

anyway, i think it's weird that rip seems to have more of a "problem" with transgenders when he personally knows a few. i thought it was more of the "gay friend effect," where the more gay people you know, the more likely you are to feel that there's nothing wrong with being gay. EDIT: to be clear, he doesn't actually have a problem. the identifying thing bothers him. though i'm not entirely sure why?

altho, both of us think it's a little weird when a transgendered person is gay. like if you were born a female, but identify as a male (whether or not your transitioning i don't think that matters), and like men. so you're gay, but you're also straight. hahah, this stuff is confusing. i'm glad i never questioned my gender or my sexual preferences. makes life a lot easier! i mean, sheesh, i imagine it's less confusing for a person actually going thru this stuff, but it can't be much easier, right? then you got ignorant people like me and rip wondering about stuff but are too embarrassed to ask questions! (since neither of us knows anyone in this position exceptionally well, and it's certainly none of our business anyway!)

religious prosecution

ugh, this hobby lobby scotus thing. i'm not going to say much about it because, well, i think you can probably guess how i feel about it. but i absolutely agree with ginsburg saying that scotus "has ventured into a minefield." (the rest of the dissent is pretty good also, but here are a few highlights)

this video tho, lol:


i feel like america is getting stupider. most countries, certainly first world ones, seem to be getting smarter. but we're stuck quibbling about dumb shit like whether we should allow guns in bars (we should NOT), teaching religion in science class (we should NOT), and whether or not we should let people drink extra large sodas. ugh. seriously. as much as i love america, i really hate americans (well, not all of us. i'm pretty fucking awesome, afterall, ha!). i'm know that there are stupid people all over. and that every country hates the majority of it's politicians, but seriously. we're among the worst. almost makes you feel like democracy is just as stupid of an idea as communism.