u.s. and china

i'm reading a book right now about the great famine in china. and it got me to thinking about the differences between the american and chinese zeitgeist. the chinese govt (as it stands) could never shut down because the chinese are into collectivism whereas americans believe very strongly in individualism and therefore a govt shutdown is seen as a viable choice.

even outside of our political systems, our cultures tends towards these philosophies (and thus we "chose" our form of government).

lifestyle: independent vs dependent

there is no shame in lack of cooporation in america. if you know the other guy is wrong, you should stand your ground no matter what. forget that you may not have facts to back you up [creationism] or that this really isn't a right or wrong situation anyway [gay marriage], or none of your business [abortion], you shouldn't give in to the other side when you know you're right.

the boss

the chinese, on the other hand, don't really believe in that. they tend not to challenge the opposition [you have to respect your elders]. you shouldn't try to convince the other person that they're wrong. you should just agree with them and then do your own thing [probably why bribery, corruption, and cheating are bigger problems there than here].

problem solving

on a kind of separate topic. i never realized how much the chinese culture changed because of the great famine (and i assume the cultural revolution, etc). i know very little about chinese history. it's mostly what we learned in school (so, basically, nothing) and a few random things i picked up. this book, while not a total surprise, has certainly educated me about china and maybe why it is the way it is today. it's a good read, tho definitely hard to stomach at times (the author writes that 45million people died within the four years of the famine). i want to eventually read more about the cultural revolution and communist takeover in china. it's interesting to me, not only because i'm chinese and go to china every once in a while, but also because china seems like such a weird place sometimes. with the occasional news articles about the country, it's hard not to think of them as barbaric at times (milk scandal, smog, heartlessness, pollution...) [not to say that america is any better. we have really ridiculous and crazy shit going on here too], which is a bit hard for me to understand considering all the amazing wonderful civilized things from before.

infographics are by yang liu and in a series titled east vs west

andes ice forest

 

september 7th's astronomy picture of the day!

what's mine?

rip recently "confessed" to me something that he's been holding in for years: something happened to a friend of his. i'm not going to reveal it here, cause, well, it aint none of our business. i don't really care that he kept quiet about it for so long.* it happened to his friend and has nothing at all to do with him, and certainly not with me. but rip feels that his friend's stories are his. things that happen to your friends happen to you. and i definitely agree with him. but not completely. marriage, unmarriage, children, unchilden, cheating, jail, funny and scary stories generally become my stories once my friend tells me about them. but a few things, you probably shouldn't share with your significant other.

occasionally a friend will tell you something deeply personal. and it's because they trust you. they're trusting you with their shame or trauma or soul, not just their story. and it doesn't become your story. and even if it did, it's certainly not your story to share. it's just something you keep in your heart to help you understand your friend, and to maybe help them later if it somehow comes up.

at some point your friends understand, tho it's unspoken, that you will tell your significant other most of the things they tell you. but... everything? i'm uncomfortable with that. i'm telling my bestie something because i've known her for years and we love each other unconditionally and as much as she may be judging me, she will always have my back. her husband? not so much. not to say that i haven't told my married girlfriends things anyway. i would just hope she doesn't tell her significant other everything. but i also trust her judgement enough to not question what she does or does not disclose to him. so long as he doesn't throw things back in my face or tell other people my secrets. ..but i'm getting off topic a bit now.

anyway. what about you? do you tell your significant other everything? why or why not?

* the only reason it does kind of bother me he didn't tell me so many years ago is his reason for not telling me. cause i totally disagree. he thought it would make me feel differently about him. which i'm nearly positive it wouldn't have.

fire on earth

 

september's 1st's astronomy picture of the day!

cheating

a female friend and i were talking about cheating in relationships and both of us agree that if our significant others were to do it, we might be able to forgive them and continue the relationship. but apptly our boyfriends disagree; if either my friend or i were to cheat, the boyfriends would likely just end the relationship. i realize that two people of each sex is not a huge sample group (i don't even know if you can call it a sample group. i think any group is three people or more?). but i did think the differences were interesting. i asked rip about it and he came up with a pretty good explanation:

women get hit on more than men. generally, a lot more. so they also have more opportunity to cheat (tho i think that depends on how you define opportunity. rip travels a lot more than me, with his friends who don't know me, for non-work related reasons, to places he's familiar with. which i think is the best opportunity right there. but anyway). so if a woman cheats, it shows that she's susceptible to doing it again, since it comes up much more often for her anyway. which is why a man don't trust a woman who's had a one-time indiscretion.

my friend and i think that people mess up. and sometimes that's all it is. you get stupid, or you get clumsy. that's not to say that a significant other should get a free pass to fuck up every once in a while, or even once at all. but i'd certainly be more interested in finding out why it happened than he would be.

retreating thunderstorm at sunset

august 28th's astronomy picture of the day!

gambling on ethics

last excerpt from julian baggini - the pig that wants to be eaten

Mette looked into the eyes of the her estranged husband, but could find no flicker of remorse.
"you tell me you want us back," she said to him, "but how can we do that when you won't even admit that you did the wrong thing when you left me and the children?"
"because in my heart i don't think i did wrong, and i don't want to lie to you," explained Paul. "i left because i needed to get away to follow my muse. i went in the name of art. don't you remember when we used to talk about Gauguin and how he had to do the same? you always said he had done a  hard thing, but not a wrong one."
"but you are no Gauguin," signed Mette. "that's why you're back. you admit you failed."
"did Gauguin know he would succeed when he left his wife? no one can know such a thing. if he was in the right, then so was i."
"no," said Mette. "his gamble paid off, and so he turned out to be right. yours didn't, and so you turned out to be wrong."
"his gamble?" replied Paul. "are you saying luck can make the difference between right and wrong?"
Mette thought for a few moments. "yes, i suppose i am."

paul is right here. just cause gauguin became an artistic success doesn't mean that he wasn't a bad husband too. that's not to say that you shouldn't follow your dreams, because one isn't necessarily more important than the other. that's part of the trade off with public figures. most political elite and revolutionaries aren't the best spouses and parents; you only have so much time, after all. which is fine. it just depends on what your priorities are. being a success certainly makes the bitter pill of abandonment easier for your discarded family to swallow. but in no way does that make what you did right.

clouds, birds, moon, venus

may 12th's astronomy picture of the day!