inner/outer rules

The Four Personality Types

1. The Upholder (great at adhering to inner rules and outer rules)

2. The Questioner (good at inner rules, questions all outer rules)

3. The Rebel (doesn’t like any rules, inner or outer)

4. The Obliger (bad at sticking with inner rules, great at working with outer rules).

i'm not sure which one i am. i think i'm a little of 1, 3 and 4. 

colors of mercury

march 1st's astronomy picture of the day!

advice

there's been a lot of advice going around lately, and some of it i just flat out don't believe in. and, worse than that, i kind of can't believe i'm hearing it from these people!

1. if you're absolutely sure nothing is going to happen, maybe don't bother mentioning anything about it. i wouldn't hide it but i wouldn't volunteer it either.
          ...really? as tempting as this sounds, i don't think it's sound advice for a committed relationship.

2. you should tell him because if you don't tell him and somehow it later comes out or he finds our from someone other than you he'd be extremely angry and pissed. and while you wouldn't necessarily have done anything wrong, it'd put you in a bad position.
          i.e. you should tell in case you get caught. really? that's why you should be truthful?

i think some of this advice was given the way it was because it was given from one good friend to another. i don't think they would give the same advice to strangers. ...i'd hope not anyway!

asperatus clouds

february 27th's astronomy picture of the day!

dunzo pt3

these instances just show me that the main leadership of this do not care about the team. people have long since said that sd is very cliquey which i've agreed with, but i've always said that it's impossible not to be with a team this large. it's natural that everyone has their favorites, esp when it seems like a good portion of the leadership only hangs out with other leadership, but i thought they knew well enough to put the team before their personal feelings.

looking back on other stuff now i can see how these four instances are just the "highlights" indicative of their actual priorities. i've consistently disagreed with how they trained their staff, ran their board, disseminated information, and more. but i mostly kept my mouth shut because i'm not on their leadership and i know there's a lot i don't know about.

but of course it makes me so sad to be leaving this team. i've had uncountable good memories and i'll always wish them the best. i just wish things had turned out differently. if anyone asks me why i left sd i'll only say that "it was time to move on." those i know well will probably know more of the details, but certainly it being time is no lie.

dunzo pt2

(3) i started coming out to practice again because i love wednesday practices, which had recently started up again. the team had been preparing hard for baby LB, which i wasn't paddling, so i decided to come out and steer for them. this way their usual steers could get more paddling time in. on sat morning i showed up with  DB, having carpooled, waved at the captains and went to the beach monitor's table to do some stuff. when captain R came by a bit later i told him that i wasn't planning to paddle, just steer. he said that they might not have room for me since they already had 45 and i was 46. (doing the math later i realized that two boats only accommodates 44, so they would've needed a third boat anyway) i was annoyed because i had actually signed up on the poll (only 27 of us did) and had come out for the sole purpose of steering for them. i guess he didn't see me wave at him earlier, tho. i was incredibly annoyed but also willing to forgive the situation.

they head out to the water and after a bit R comes running back up and past me with another guy who was obviously late for practice. they do some stuff and run past me again back to the water. i see their boats going out a few minutes later. they have three boats and multiple open benches. i see A steering. he's been out of country the last three months and has only been to two practices before today (for this season). today being the day before competition. i'm pissed. i hear from D later that A actually asked, while steering, if anyone would be taking over for him so he could get some paddling time in.

at the end of their practice (just after 11am), which i sat around for since  i had driven D to the beach, i approach R to let him know that i heard the marine stadium only opens at 7:30am, tho their call time is at 7am. he acknowledges that he hears me (does not apologize for earlier, btw). that night at around 10:50pm a notice goes up on facebook and an email goes out saying that call time has changed since marine stadium only opens at 7:30am. ...it's 11 at night. for a tournament the next morning. some people live way out in torrance or jtown. that means they have to leave their place around 6am to get here by 7. so they have to wake up around 5:30am and you're sending out an email less than 7 hours in advance when i fucking told you 12 hours ago?! why wouldn't you confirm with any of the scdbc leads at the beach when i told you? i was just talking to G, A, and M all of whom would know! (4) it just kills me that R didn't bother to verify the opening time hours earlier. i don't know how many teammates showed up a half hour early, but i do know that my K, D, and their kid were there at 7am to be met with locked gates.

dunzo pt1

i've complained about my year-round db team a few times on this blog. but after what happened this past weekend, i've decided to leave them. i'm staying to the end of the season and will paddle for kg next year. honestly, i was pissed enough to just quit and join kg immediately, but i generally do not act rashly and prefer not to burn bridges. i also do the team twitter and help run the blog so i'll fulfill that commitment to the end of the year.

i've been unhappy with sd for some time, mostly because a couple years ago when long beach sent a team of kids to world's, there was a pool to help pay for some of the expenses and when D asked our coach E she declined on behalf of the team. firstly, i don't think E is even in the position to say no on behalf of the team as she's just our head coach, and not a captain or treasurer. also, how can you say no to kids? they're in hs and college and don't have much money. we didn't have to use team funds, but we could've asked people to donate what they could. what's worse is that our team sent more kids than any other team, and yet every other team contributed to the fund and we didn't. it's disgraceful. (1)

(2) a few months ago scdbc had a cpr class. everyone was supposed to pay $35  in advance. with an exception of sd, all the teams that registered for their steers did pay well in advance. sd told their steers they would pay for them so i was expecting a group check. which i received less than a week before class. while that's annoying, it's not a big deal. what is a big deal is that i found out later that i had misread the paid sheet and M from sd has attended the class without paying. so i emailed sd captains asking who was going to pay, them or M. i didn't hear back for a couple days and i got another email from DrC about it. so i fwded the email again adding "RESPOND ASAP" to the subject. captain RR fwded my email to C (i was cc'ed). no response. after half a week i emailed again saying that we submitted a final name list and did not include C and to email me if that was not okay (i cc'ed C). (btw, i had received an email from the treasurer after my first email regarding something else so in my response i told her what was happening and said that i'd like to get this resolved soon. she said she'd not heard about it but would talk to RR) after another half week i received word from DrC that C's certification was actually already paid for. grr... so this time i emailed the captains, C, the team certifiers, head coach, and treasurer telling them of the situation and asking for the check. and saying that "If we do not receive payment, none of the Space Dragons' steers who attended the class on 2/23 will receive their CPR certification cards." within hours C wrote back saying that he would send out the check the next day.

it's annoying that C would not get back to any of the emails i sent. but what i find kind of nuts is that sd captains didn't just foot the bill. C has been on the team longer than i've been (so over 5 years). and while i may only have his email, i'm sure they have his phone number. furthermore, i only heard back from anyone, really, after i threatened to withhold all their certifications. but did it really have to come down to that?

i can't believe that they would have so little loyalty to a team member. i always knew that they didn't care much about their reputation with the scdbc (they don't go to the only scdbc fun event we have: an annual bowling thing.) yet i thought they would at least care for one of their own. ...tho not particularly. K told me a while ago that she felt betrayed by the team when after she had kept getting the flu over and over and was unable to come out to practice, no one (the ones who knew she was sick and were her "friends") bothered to check in with her. i checked in with her cause she went bowling with me once when i felt that sd needed a representative team for the bowling event and realized that i hadn't seen her in a while . i ran into KM at another event earlier this year and he told me pretty much the same thing. except that he had hung out with coach D every single week before they stopped asking him out. :(

comet over chile

january 27th's astronomy picture of the day!

unfriend!

i've felt this way before, tho i've certainly never done it! (i also don't have his password were i ever truly tempted to, hahahah!)