from an article by leslie dorman in an issue of elle: "i've used my husband as conversational bait while pondering whether i'd sleep with another man" (full article [worth reading!])
i don't feel like i've done this. when i complain about my boyfriend or my relationship, it's because i'm just complaining; i'm not hoping the guy i'm complaining to will "get the hint" and try to "rescue" me from said relationship. also, when talking to "strangers," i'm pretty careful to bring up that i have a boyfriend pretty early on. my boyfriend said that he mostly only mentions me if he fees like the girl he's talking to is interested. i usually don't bother gauging interest before mentioning my relationship status.
i used to be different tho. i didn't deliberately insert "my boyfriend" into conversation because i thought it would be pretty egotistical of me to assume that the person i'm talking to would even care that i had a boyfriend. i felt like pointedly telling every guy i met that i had a boyfriend implied that i thought every guy i met was attracted to me. which is, of course, crazy. later i realized that it doesn't mean i think i'm irresistible, i'm just careful. and so now i always try to remember to say something. (this is funny tho because a good friend of mine was recently in an awkward situation where she hadn't mentioned her live-in boyfriend to a guy she'd been talking to because he'd never shown interest, so she didn't bother. but after a few months she didn't know how to mention her boyfriend!)
in matters of the heart, i think it's best to be careful.
2 comments:
I'm like you...it took me a while to get used to saying "boyfriend" and even after four years it sounds weird to say husband. I prefer to talk about him by name. Plus, people usually freak out when I say "husband" because they think I look too young to be married. But yeah...I get what you're saying about feeling like you're sounding pretentious.
Excuse me! But do you happen to have a BOYfriend? :)
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