single again?

i've asked rip this same question a couple times over the past 10 years and he always has the same answer: no, he doesn't have any regrets about not having dated more. i asked him again a while ago and he added that "being single just seems like a hassle." which i do agree with. yet...

it's not that i want to gain more sexual experience or anything like that. i think i just miss the excitement of a new relationship. the shy flirting, the ambiguity of 'does he like me?', the excitement of finding out random things in common, the electricity of the "firsts", the shimmer of possibilities...

in a long term relationship, there's very little that's new. you rarely even have new fights (tho rip and i had a BIG new one in july, which i won't get into except to quote henry fielding - the history of tom jones: "my eyes must have been very faithless interpreters of my heart"). even when i "catch" him looking at me, it makes me happy, but i'm not still excited about it hours later.

i think a big part of the problem is with tv (ha!). but seriously. nearly every show has the two lead characters with tons of sexual tension. and, as dorky as it is, i get really excited about castle and beckett and mcnally and swarek. and, of course, tv romances pale in comparison to my real life one. so i get a little sad.

anyway. i'm not saying that i want to be single again. but if rip were to fall into a coma for a few years, well... tho let's hope he doesn't!!!

btw, rip and i are "celebrating" our 11th anniversary today. pretty crazy, eh?