selfish

i've am multi-talented:
1. depressing myself
2. fucking things up
and 3. being callous
but i wish i could add '4. not giving a shit' to my list. sometimes it's really easy to turn off. but sometimes it's a lot harder. it's hard, too, when you can see someone about to fuck up, and being useless to stop it. or in this case, being careless in preventing it. 'it sounds like a test.' well, do you think you passed? you already kno wat i want. but i give you the choice. i will not ask it of you. do not try and make me. you have already made up your mind. i already kno wat you will do. and i will let you do it.  why do i so passively wait for you to hurt me? it makes me stronger, that's why. sometimes i give in to you. give into 'wanting the pain to stop.' but simply because i do not rub salt into the wound, does not mean that i have none. i am not lacking in salt. nor am i in injuries. they say that a good way to heal is to keep the wound clean, dry and airy. so you need not offer your alms to me. i do not need your bandages. i can do this on my own. i will bide my time. i will gather my strength. and i will heal. without you.

'i see your fantasy' 'i see you’re full of shit, and that's alright, that's how you play'

'i won't give everything away' no, i won't give anything away