fresh start

if you have that song, you should listen to it and pay attention to the lyrics. to quote another who was at a loss for words and found solace in a song: "EVERY SINGLE WORD OF THIS SONG MUST BE [HEARD]....EVERY SINGLE WORD OF THIS SONG...IS MEANT TO BE [HEARD]...and MEANT to be UNDERSTOOD...and MEANT to be APPLIED to my thoughts at this very moment of my life. EVERY..SINGLE..WORD." if you kno who wrote this, well, that also gives you another hint of my mindset. hm... so this last month or so has been rather different. to start off the list, i've come to irvine to make a new home for my bastard child. ...wait. that's not me. well, i have come to irvine, anyway. but more to come to school. i would add also to escape the wretchedness of home living but then i've only found my way to crushing monotony. which, believe it or not, isn't all that much better. and more than just feeling bored most of the time, i feel lost and alone. anyway. i don't have a whole lot of time here and i'm being sidetracked by another project but in summery. so: all my relationships have changed;  some for the better, some for the worse.

and in closing, here're some highlights to that song: 'wat's the going rate on life vs love?' 'wat's the going rate on you vs me?' 'wat's the going rate on making this right?' 'are we running out of time?' / 'i'm far from the walls and the trust that keep me' 'it's hard to believe in the things i trust the most' 'there're so many signs, how many ways can i deceive my yesterday?' '...i have wasted so much, on everything but this.' / 'can you be bigger than this? can you be stronger than this?' / 'everything's waiting on you. everything's focused on you. to do wat you should do.'