meow!

that "i'm the only one who tries" comment has been retracted. thank god. i thought i was crazy for a second there. thinking that all this effort i'm putting forth is actually a sign of not trying. all this stressing and sleeping and weight loss has been for simple stagnation. well anyway. going to the fair today wit everyone. and boy do i mean that... grace, jose, jason, khoa, jon, erin, and two of her classmates. and yes, reepal too. he's driving himself over to irvine. managed to get the car. good for him. and yes, good for me. here's looking forward to the alaskan pig race. yeeha!

'self pity me so pitiful' 'you can see that birds and worms don't get along' / 'self righteous me so wrong' 'you can see that we don't have to get along' / 'self pity me so pitiful' 'you can see that birds and worms do not agree' 'and we will crawl'

royally crazy

Otto, younger brother of Ludwig II, decided the only way to preserve his own sanity was to shoot a peasant each day. Every morning he would start taking pot-shots at the peasants working in the royal garden. As staff numbers dropped, one servant was given the task of loading the king's pistol with blanks while another dressed as a peasant and pretended to fall down dead when Otto shot him.  

Queen Juana of Spain worshipped her husband Philip, who died in 1506, so much that she refused to allow him to be buried and had his coffin accompany her wherever she went.  

Charles VI of France was convinced he was made of glass. So, he hated traveling by coach in case the vibration caused him to shatter into a thousand pieces. He also started prowling  the corridors of the royal palace, howling like a wolf, causing Queen Isabeau to no longer want to share a bed with him. She found a lookalike, Odette de Champdivers, to take her place. Every night for 30 years, Odette wore the Queen's clothes in the royal bed and Charles never once spotted the deception.  

Henry Christophe, King of Northern Haiti, ordered his guards to prove their loyalty to him by marching over a 200ft-high cliff. Those who obeyed plunged to their deaths; those who refused were tortured and executed. Henry Christophe ended up shooting himself.  

Catherine the Great of Russia, discovering that she had dandruff, imprisoned her hairdresser in an iron cage for three years to stop the news spreading. Enchanted by a primrose in the royal garden, she posted a sentry to guard the plant day and night.  

Philip, Prince of Calabria, the eldest son of Charles XIII of Spain, was mad about gloves and was known to wear 16 pairs at any one time.

effortless

erin wants to go to the oc fair. so we're were planning to go romrow. jose's been wanting to go for a swim so in the afternoon jose, jon, erin and i were gonna go swim before heading over to the fair. grace might come too. i asked reep, who asked me to drive over to cypress to pick him up and bring him to irvine. i asked if he could come wit jose as they live less than a block away from each other. understand tho that reep doesn't much like jose.

Rip N La (5:04:46 PM): yeah, you know i dont like him already, why would i want to ride with him when no one III know is even going to be around
Neurp (5:05:26 PM): becuase it's such a hassel for me to drive up there when he lives like a block away from you. you're going to the same palce and doing the same thing!
Rip N La (5:05:49 PM): fine, have fun.
Rip N La (5:05:55 PM): im going home now
Neurp (5:05:58 PM): you're kidding
Rip N La (5:06:28 PM): no, im not kidding, im just tired of being the only one who tries.
Rip N La signed off at 5:06:34 PM.

...you gotta be kidding me. you're the only who fucking tries?! yesterday (tuesday) i was supposed to pick him up right after school and bring him back to irvine where we could hang out. after i get back home i call him. he asks when we need to be back in irvine, i say around 4 for erin. he says that's not enough time. i ask for wat, he says ...i forget. anyway. he also says he's too tired, wishes to sleep a bit more. i say i'll call him when erin gets home. it's nearly 5pm already and she's still not home. i call him and tell him i'm coming anyway. don't want to waste any more time. i drive to cypress; it takes me nearly an hour and a half in traffic. pick him up, go to lincoln video, get gas, and take him to wendys. drive back to irvine. eat, watch two movies, take him back to cypress and come home exhausted. ...but no, you're right, you are the only that tries.

fumiko enchi - "masks" (book)

"Which is only a poetic way of saying you're in love. These days it's the style for women to be glamorous, but I think ultimately a man's love for a woman is based on a kind of instinctive yearning for smallness and fragilitity; the feeling manifests itself in a hundred ways. And that's why you prefer to see Yasuko as a child. As a matter of fact, she's a far stronger person than you give her credit for." (13-14)

"To his mind there were four kinds of beautiful skin. The first he likened to porcelain: finely grained and flawless in sheen, but marked by a hardness and chill. The second he compared to snow: duller and more coarsely grained, with a deep whiteness and an inner warmth and softness that belied its cold surface. Next was what he called the textile look, what others called silken; this was the complextion most prized by Japanese women, yet it had no virtue in Mikame's eyes beyound a flat, smooth prettiness. To be supremely beautiful, he thought, a woman's skin had to glow with the internal life-force of spring's ealiest buds unfolding naturally in the sun." (15)

"Although she treated him with every sign of the warmest affection when they were alone, once they parted she never made the slightest attempt to seek him out. Her attitude was not that on an innocent and moral woman, but, indeed, that of an experienced whore -- one who had mastered every skill." (91)

static cling

so i don't kno how many of you kno this about me. but clingy people 1) freak me out and 2) piss me off. it annoys me to no end that certain people seem incapable of doing anything by themself. it's not even just that they simply won't get away from me. but also that they don't even get that i'm repulsed by them.

another thing. i've lost a lot of weight lately (stressed i guess) but realized also that i've been sleeping more than usual. or maybe not sleeping, but just being really damn tired. i guess it's my way of dealing wit the stuff that's been happening lately. =\

'i lost my edge on things when i lost my head.' 'thought my intentions were better; tried to put mind over matter.' 'and we're back at the end all over again' / 'but there is no chance i'm gonna do it again. if you missed it the first time, then it's nine to ten that you will again' / 'don't you know they ain't never gonna help you anyway.' / 'and then what can i say; what can i do to you?'

great gatsby quotes

"Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope."

"This is a valley of ashes - a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat…"

"The rich get richer and the poor get — children."

"It is invariably saddening to look through new eyes at things upon which you have expended your own powers of adjustment."

"I found myself on Gatsby’s side, and alone."

"tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further…And one fine morning - / So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."