s'more s'mores!

ah the holidays. ain't nothing like curling up in a blanket and sitting by the fire toasting s'mores. but if you got too much stuff in front of your fireplace like i do, get a handy dandy s'more maker! aw... i'n't that cute?

for me?

feel like getting me something for christmas? how about a first edition of human bondage by my all-time favorite author somerset maugham? well, for $4000, maybe i'd just you rather get me a freakin bike (...well damn. was gonna put up a link for a ducati at that price but can't find one! sheesh....)

taking a stance

reep said that he cannot be wit someone who wants to drink. i asked if my not actually drinking made any difference. one can only control wat they do, not how they feel. he said no, it doesn't matter. i, however, think it ought. not to mention, i've had this issue before (regarding porn or al) and he did not quite understand, and yet he's doing the same thing. i can't get too angry tho. just the other week i was saying how proud i was of annie cause she stood up for wat she believed in, even tho her pledge sisters could not understand. yet it seems that here i am condemning reepal for breaking up wit me over something he obviously cares very much about. i just wish he didn't have such a strong stance against something i'm okay wit. well anyway... i of all people should be able to understand the way he feels.

'i'm young but i'm wise enough to know that you don't fall in love over night. that's why i thought if i took my time that everything in love would be right. but as soon as i closed my eyes I was sayin' to love ‘goodbye’'

finals sminals...

ah... if only finals were as easy as this case of cops following a trail of donuts to solving a crime. or maybe our teachers could just give us the answers, as this couple actually telling the cops that their pot had been stolen. most students however, feel more like these hitch-hikers who were forced to dig up a coffin. confused before, bewildered during, and even more perplexed afterwards...

kundera was wrong

mood: depressed and exhausted

as you may kno. this weekend has been exhuasting. i am... severely unsteady right now and am unable to do anything. and yet there is so much that needs to be done. ...if anything i just want to curl up and die. just... leave everything and everyone behind. ...i wish i could just stop thinking. stop all these thoughts crashing in my mind and have only nothing. i wish to fill myself wit emptyness. right now i feel that only this will soothe me and take me away from the exhaustion known as life. chang was complaining that she wished she could just feel for someone. i wish the opposite. it is only when you care that you are hurt. and if is only when you care that you are never free. whether from pressure, sadness, disapointment, or loss. maugham said that the "tragedy of love is indifference." and while it maybe be so of love, one can hardly say it is the same of happiness. god save me from the unbearable heaviness of being.

'he that pushes me along, and leaves me so desperate and ravenous, so weak and powerless, promised i would find a little solace and some peace of mind.' so 'little angel, go away, come again some other day; the devil has my ear today, i'll never hear a word you say;' for i am 'tilling my own grave to keep me level,' 'digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren'

fraidy cat

alektorophobia: fear of chickens
bogyphobia: fear of bogeys or the bogeyman
coulrophobia: fear of clowns
dendrophobia: fear of trees
euphobia: fear of hearing good news
frigophobia: fear of cold or cold things
geniophobia: fear of chins
homichlophobia: fear of fog
isopterophobia: fear of termites, insects that eat wood
japanophobia: fear of japanese
kosmikophobia: fear of cosmic phenomenon
lutraphobia: fear of otters
mnemophobia: fear of memories
novercaphobia: fear of your stepmother
ophthalmophobia: fear of being stared at
paraskavedekatriaphobia: fear of friday the 13th
ranidaphobia: fear of frogs
sciophobia: fear of shadows
textophobia: fear of certain fabrics
urophobia: fear of urine or urinating
verbophobia: fear of words
wiccaphobia: fear of witches and witchcraft
xanthophobia: fear of the color yellow or the word yellow
zemmiphobia: fear of the great mole rat

and, finally, there is panophobia, or the fear of everything.