burning bush

just for random fun, here're a couple sites dedicated to our president bush: dubyaspeak.com and bushorchimp.com. and to be fair, one more site, which makes fun of everyone, not just bush: whitehouse.org (which i kno, seems like the .com site or like the .gov site but i swear this one has nothing to do wit porn or real politics).

the poor rich

it so bothers me that rich/famous people get such special treatment. whenever they go to events (award shows, premiers, some parties) they get freebies. thousands of dollars worth in freebies. ...holy shit. it's not like those fuckers can't afford to just buy the whole shebang. and now they got credit cards that give them the royal treatment too wit their fantastic plastic. those fucking blingbling bitches!

smoke two joints...

the next time you need drugs, you should just look around on the tops of people's cars. cause apparently that's where drug dealers are stashing their stuff these days. but if you don't have all that time to just sit around and look at cars, maybe you ought to head over to that local courthouse. but maybe you're in la palma and you have no courthouse to go to. well, then you should go try your drug buying luck at a police party. aw... still no luck? well, have no fear. if you can't buy drugs, you should try making your own, cause evidently, it's not that hard. of course, if you've got a touch of arachnaphobia maybe you should sign on to ebay. after all, they do sell some pretty weird stuff...

quick like a... stone?

jeezum crow am i slow! go test your reflexes at the table tennis reflex tester. btw, it matters both how fast you press and how quickly you release. good luck and don't feel bad if it asks if you've been drinking or sleeping; join the crowd! 

that's a bad sign...

so as i alwais tell reepal, he's a worser driver than me. and this proves it!: "the best and worst drivers by the signs" see! taurus is one worse than pisces. damn skippy.

kill those bastards!

damn that pesky west nile. if you're anything like me, then bugs are simply attracted to you (my dad said it's my pH level). here're some bug repelents that work, and some that don't (from the july 2004 reader's digest). what works: stuff wit deet (off!), the higher the % the better. oil of eucalyptus (repel lemon eucalyptus insect repellent). and soybean oil (bite blocker for kids). things that don't work: skin so soft. (well, technically, this does work, but only for a lousy 23 mintues.) repellent wristbands and citronella candles don't work at all. and "high tech" devices don't work much either. and my personal tip: drain all stagnent water sources - they're a breeding ground for mosquitos. so don't leave around buckets of water. check all plant ...plates... to make sure there isn't too much excess water down there. and if you've got a pool, be sure to turn on that churning water thing (damnit, i dunno wat it's called, i dont' have a pool!). also, if your pool is already a weird green color, drain it immediatly. first off, the alge and stuff isn't healthy for you. second, it looks gross. and third, it's a good breeding place for mosquitos. one last thing! mosquitos are most attracted to the color blue (light, dark? i dunno) blahblahblah. keep safe this summer!