darkened city

april 11th's astronomy picture of the day!

avoiding ghosts

how to avoid a haunted house:

- don't have kids.
- if you have kids, and a daughter, don't let her have long hair.
- if you a kid that sleepwalks, get rid of that kid immediately.
- don't buy your kids scary looking toys, especially creepy looking dolls. 
- if your kid finds a toy, get rid of the toy. to be safe, maybe the kid too.
- don't ever play creepy games with kids involving looking into mirrors.
- to prevent your kid from playing creepy games involving looking into mirrors, get rid of the kid (or mirrors, I guess)
- only get rid of your kids in a humane manner (absolutely no drowning!). and the father should probably do it, not the mother.
- hire a priest immediately if your kid has an imaginary friend. that friend is not imaginary. it's a fucking ghost.
- bring your dog to your prospective house before buying it. if your dog has a bad reaction, don't buy it; it's haunted. don't have a dog? borrow one. hell, borrow a couple anyway, in case that first dog is a dummy.
- don't get a house that doesn't have neighbors nearby. unless those neighbors are scary looking, or have kids with creepy dolls. then they're probably murderers.
- if you wake up with unexplained bruises, call a priest.
- don't investigate scary noises, especially if you're alone. and don't ever look under your bed.
- if you have the urge to turn around to see what's behind you, don't turn slow. turn fast and maybe scare that ghost first.
- inexplicable static on the tv/radio? clocks stop the same time each day for no reason? yup, you're screwed.
- get a flashlight, idiot, it's the 21st century. matches are like beacons for ghosts anyway. but be sure to constantly check your batteries.
- don't take baths. especially if it's an old standalone bathtub.
- avoid houses with wallpaper, hardwood floors, curtains, a cellar, and without modern heating.
- discover a boarded up room or cellar after moving in? gtfo!!
- after moving in, if you find anything left behind in the house, first get a priest to do a cleansing, then burn that shit.
- wd40 everything. ghosts are attracted to squeaky hinges.
- don't buy an old house (duh). a condo is probably your safest bet. apartments are occasionally haunted too. especially if they're old or it's in a high tower.
- do some freaking homework before you buy a house. someone killed themselves in there? don't buy it. (unless your dog says it's okay. but if your dog changes its mind, move immediately)

if you want to be extra careful:
- don't get a house with a lake behind it.
- if there's a big dead tree with sturdy branches in the yard, that's a sure fire sign that someone was hanged there. and yes, they're still pissed about it.
- don't have old things like antiques or heirlooms. get all your shit from ikea or target.
- don't live back east or in the midwest. what was the last ghost movie set somewhere tropical? besides, houses back east tend to be 1. old and 2. have cellars, curtains, hardwood floors, wallpaper and no modern heating. in other words, they're freaking ghost magnets.
- don't be white. being japanese probably doesn't help either.
- don't be female.
- can't say this enough, but don't have kids.

*disclaimer about kids. having one doesn't guarantee a haunting. but the more kids you have (unless they're identical twins) seems to prevent hauntings. and the older they get, the less likely anyone is to get possessed. unless they're a teenager, then you're right back in the danger zone cause teens like to play creepy games, often with mirrors. but usually that "ghost" ends up being a serial killer who only kills teens and their stupid friends. so if it's too late and you already have a teenager, start scheduling a lot of vacations away from it.

waterfalls, auroras, comet

march 26, 2013's astronomy picture of the day!

dunzo pt4

more than anything, the thing that most bothers me about captain R is that he doesn't take responsibility for things. he hands off the blame to others when he's the one who should know better. not only is he captain, he's the only space captain that goes to the captains' meetings. so that right there means you're in charge and therefore responsible for getting things done properly and on time.

lately i've gotten a couple emails from him either blaming me for not giving enough advance notice, or blaming certifier A for not covering his responsibilities. i had fucking had it. i'd talked about this stuff at every captains meeting, i'd emailed schedules and updated and detailed spreadsheets, tweeted, fb'ed... below is a clip of the email i sent:

"I will accept emailed paperwork until midnight tonight but I will not accept this type of irresponsible behavior again. The tournament is a few days away and I do not have time for this, which is exactly why I set the deadline for completion of requirements (sans CPR) for year-round steering certification nearly two months ago. You have missed multiple deadlines with nary a sorry. Instead from your emails it seems that perhaps your leadership should review what their own responsibilities are."

i got that apology. and i also finally got that fucking paperwork. it's so crazy to think that all it took was an angry email for them to finally get their shit in line. i don't know what certifier A is going to do next year. she had talked about quitting. a lot of the vets have either already done it, or are seriously considering quitting. it makes me sad, honestly, it really does. i do really like the team, and nearly everyone on it. i just can't stand the way it's being run. i know that no matter what team i join there will be drama. but hopefully it'll be the dumb crap of who's sleeping with whom. none of this blaming innocents when you fail to do your job.

the only questions now are 1. do i keep my jersey? and 2. do i go to year-end banquet to say goodbye.

ruby sparks

i recently watched ruby sparks. it's about calvin, "a novelist struggling with writer's block finds romance in a most unusual way: by creating a female character he thinks will love him, then willing her into existence." he writes about her on his typewriter and one morning, when he wakes up, she's there and she's real.

while initially freaked the fuck out, he ends up falling in love with her. i mean, he modeled her after the perfect woman, so why wouldn't he? but since she really is "a real person" of course they start to have the problems that all real relationships do. she eventually asks for some space.

after telling his brother ruby's "creation story" he says that he's no longer going to write about her. the brother asks why? after all, he can do anything: make her hotter, or less annoying. calvin says no.

but after ruby asks for some space he rethinks the situation. he's miserable, and she isn't at all. in fact, she's flourishing. so he sits down at his typewriter and makes her miserable. she immediately calls him and wants him back and and she is a freaking weirdo. she can't stand to be alone, not even for a little bit. he unwrites that and makes her "effervescently happy". she becomes weirder still. it's like she's a little kid. a little kid on e. it's exhausting."she wasn't happy. so I made her happy... and now she's like this all the time."  and now he's in a bit of a pickle. the brother asks why he doesn't just write "and ruby went back to normal." calvin says that before he started writing about her again, she was probably just about to break up with him.

i wonder what i would do. if i could change rip, would i? i probably would. little things mostly. like so he wouldn't ever chew with his mouth open again. but would i mess with the "big" things? the things that actually have to do with the essence of him? ...to be honest, i don't know. there are things, serious things, that we just don't agree on. and it would be so nice and easy to just make him. haha. but that would be unethical. ...but would i care? would you?

comet castle

march 22nd's astronomy picture of the day!