and another

there's this thing, calling it self the 'hardest riddle available on the internet.' well damnit. i agree. attempt this only if you 1) have patience and 2) kno a little about computers. it will be easier if you kno something about programming. also, damnit, don't cheat! try first to figure it out by yourself. if you still can't get it, then read thru the posts for hints. if you are absolutly stuck then fine, go read the effing spoiler. but you kno wat? if you keep cheating and finish the thing, you, at the very least only you, kno that you are a fraud. and that is all that matters. who cares wat others think of you if you kno that you are the biggest peice of shit ever! but, if you can do this all by yourself wit no hints, then you are fucking incredible and i absolulely bow down to you. ready? set? pron!

knowing my place

this sunday al2 called reep to wake him up for db. she said that they wanted him there cause she felt uncomfortable and excluded from everyone else. reep didn’t say he would go, nor did he actually do so. but it saddens me that this situation arose. i’ve asked him to go to db. he declined. citing that he didn’t want to see gary and such because he thinks i liked him. little may he kno (although i have told him numerous times before) that i am almost desperately curious to see if lilly and gary ever get back together. i think they are perfectly matched. and would be damned please if they did become a couple again. however al2 supposes, and perhaps assumes, that if she asks then he will go. to hang out wit her and keep her company. rather than, say, be wit his gf. he said that he wouldn’t just go cause of her tho, but if tom went as well. he also said that me asking and wanting him to be there had very little to do wit him deciding to go. in other words: al2 takes priority. i’ve asked him. i’ve even persuaded tom to start going again. and yet that isn’t enough. they say that jealousy and paranoia stem from insecurity. so i guess i have good reason then to feel rebuked. after all, when your boif tells you flat out that the request of his friend weighs more heavily than your same request, well, i do think you have the right to feel inferior. seeing also as i have had other run-ins wit this same friend of yours in other situations where you clearly chose her over me, it seems incredible that you don’t totally understand why i worry about your relationship wit her developing into something more. or more basically, why i distrust you at all.

 

'this is incredible. starving, insatiable, yes, this is love for the first time.' / 'well you'd like to think that you were invincible. yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?' 'but it doesn't make it any better.'

'the memories will fade.'

gaming

go learn something and have fun at the same time: i played the ridiculously educational game called 'the anti bush game' at emo game. even tho it's called a mini-game it's really really long (only play if you have an hour or so to spare) but it's pretty fun and quite funny. they also have three other games. each wit lots of clicking and reading but still pretty good stuff. each one is like th other tho so you only need to try one. i'd say bush, at least you'll learn something. cause god knows that's not wat school is for...

better again

reep and i hit a rough spot last week. but i think now we're over that. i hate the rough patches tho. :( this last weekend was good tho. i have been making the extra effort to not be selfish. and i think we're both happier because of it. i do wish, however, that he would say thank you more often. for the little things, you kno? but anyway, i'm working on me right now. maybe after i better myself i can ask him to better himself too. anyway... we're not totally better. last night / this morning he went thru a revelation. and it made me sad. but oh well... tonight too. i again asked him if he wanted my email password and he said no: "if you  kno i have it, and you kno i read it, you will hide stuff from me... this way i just trust you. and i dont have to check on you." :( well, i tried, he's feeling sad too. didn't do well at his last tekken tourny. and i didn't kno how to cheer him up... but seriously, we're okay now. not super good (altho he did wright me a really sweet email from work this morning) but better again.

'let me uncover you to discover you' 'and i will open up if you promise to give in' / 'cause i would leave it all so far behind just to be with you' / 'so make me feel again, feel your every breathe again' / 'never mind everyone, there's only you and me'

playing it safe

so appt there are 6 registered sex offenders living in my small town of lp. six! there are like 17 people total living in lp, so how can there be six? and seriously, that's just registered offenders, i wonder how many others there are? anyway... i'm not telling you any of this to freak you out. cause seriously, people change. or maybe it wasn't really quite the case in the first place. who knows? but just to be safe, here's the link so you can check out your own neighborhood: megan's law site. but really, don't go crazy on these people!

poser

just for the sake of an update, i'm updating. for those of you who think dressing like paris hilton means just throwing on some bling and wearing close to nothing in the brightest of colors, take a look at this! ::gasp:: why... she covered up! seriously... i would've thought that as possible as a walrus eating a house using a fork and knife. but anyway... and if you need more fashion advice, here's directions on how to dress emo. ...rock on people...