scar face

i got back into donating blood last year when j scheduled his appendectomy. for a few karma points, you know? (also because the FDA dropped its restrictions on male donors who had sex with men) when i donated in october, in the boston area, things did not go well. it started hurting much more than it normally did, so i spoke up and the phlebotomist called over someone else who poked around a bit before giving up. at the time, i thought maybe i didn't hydrate enough, but later i had my doubts. they weren't able to get much blood out of me, and i ended up with pretty big bruises for a few weeks. it was about 8 inches top to bottom? the bruises didn't worry me much, but about a week after the failed donation, i developed a weird pain in my forearm. it was quite tender to the touch and even rolling a sleeve up hurt.

after another week or so, i texted r (who worked as a phlebotomist or something like that) describing the situation. he confirmed that yeah, i had some nerve damage but that it should get better soon (it's actually not uncommon). everything was back to normal in just under a month. it wasn't a big deal, but it did make me delay scheduling my next donation appointment.

in january, we were in stockton, and there were fires (so many fires) raging down south. i was feeling particularly useless since i knew that if we were back home, i'd be volunteering. so i decided to donate blood instead. (obviously, it was unlikely to go help a fire victim, but meh, i was doing something, you know?)

the day of, i actually brought up the previous nerve damage to the phlebotomist, and requested that if she missed, maybe she call it quits a little sooner than she normally would. she agreed. the appointment went well. no unusual pain and nothing else out of the ordinary either. in fact, i had such a "good time" that i signed up to donate plasma just a couple weeks later. i was even able to talk to a plasma donor in the "recovery room" and asked him a few questions about how it goes, etc. i was pretty excited!

after the recovery room, i did my usual routine and ran some errands at a couple different stores. i felt fine. but very suddenly, while waiting in line at tj maxx, i felt very hot. i thought it might be my sickness but it was coming on faster than usual so i took off my jacket and left the store. i wanted to get back to the car to lay down a bit and wait for things to pass. as i was walking out, my vision started going in and out with black clouds and as i got to the car, i missed the door handle and fell forward. i immediately got up, realizing that i'd hit my head because there was a LOT of blood, but then my vision was fine so i got into the car and lay down.

after a bit of rest, i called t to see if she could escort me home by phone. i wasn't far, only about 15 minutes away, so she stayed on the line and followed me on google maps as i cautiously drove home and narrated each turn and every approaching freeway exit. 

i got home okay, and after texting j (so did t), decided to nap it off. in the meantime, t sent over some gatorade and tuna snacks via ubereats. after waking and eating, i felt a bit better and got up to look in the mirror and that's when i saw that the cut on my head was pretty bad. i knew there was a lot of blood, but i thought it was just cause it was a head injury and those tend to bleed a lot, even when they're not serious. j eventually came home with some cleaning stuff and confirmed that it did look pretty bad and said i may actually need stitches. oof.

long story a little shorter, we were turned down the urgent care (cause it was a head injury) and ended up in the ER where in a few hours, they did some blood work, gave me a CT scan, a tetanus shot, and two stitches.

sometime before the ER i realized that i didn't just fall, but that i must've actually fainted because my hands were fine. i had pretty bad scrapes on two of my left knuckles, but my palms were completely unhurt. NO ONE in a conscious state falls face first from an almost standing position and doesn't throw out their hands to protect themselves. it's just not possible. so i realized i must've actually fainted and landed almost full force on my forehead. good thing i was probably bent over a bit trying to see the car door handle?

later, in telling people the story, apparently a lot of people faint from giving blood! only thing is that they usually pass out during or right after. not TWO HOURS LATER as i had. oof. anyway, there were a lot of lessons learned from this. and i'll likely not forget because i have two pretty obvious facial scars still a month later. i have a red spot on the bridge of my nose and a weirdly almost exact 2008 beijing olympics logo in the center of my forehead near my hairline. apparently these will slowly fade, though whatever i have in two years is likely permanent. 

i'm also giving up on donating blood, at least for a while, though, honestly, i am quite sad to do it. still, i can't in good conscience donate again so soon risking a third horrible thing to happen. i mean, talk about disregarding all the signs and tempting fate!! i don't have a rare blood type either, so i think the world will be okay without my little contribution. i hope that i too will be alright.