sexy ghosts

a couple months ago while I was putting away clean laundry, I pulled his underwear drawer too far out and the whole thing upended itself on the floor. while I was putting things back I noticed a pair of red plaid underwear I hadn't seen him wear before. turns out they weren't boxers, or even men's clothing. it was a very short sexy schoolgirl skirt. ot mine, obviously.

at that moment, and even still, I'm not quite sure how I feel about them. or how I'm supposed to feel about them even. I struggle to come up with an analogy. I think like if he had found a pegging set of "mine." that's not a good comparison. not that an analogy even matters. I know he likes short skirts. and I had assumed he had previously played that out with others. still it's different to see the actual sex prop he's used with someone else, you know?

I guess what I'm struggling a bit with is why does he still have it? or why does he have it at all? shouldn't it be in her pocession? that he has it suggests that it means something special to him. and I would assume not the skirt itself, but who wore that skirt or a specific memory tied to the skirt (and therefore the girl). so what then? I probably wouldn't be unreasonable to ask him to get rid of it. yet, I don't feel comfortable with that. I mean, it means something to him and i want to be respectful of that. we each have past relationships and I think it's good to acknowledge and even celebrate that some. each person we've chosen to be with before has shaped us and made us into whom the other one now loves. it's crazy to pretend you're the first or best or most. you have them now and you should be satisfied with that.

still, it does make me a little uncomfortable and certainly self conscious. especially since I know he knows he still has it. I still put away his clean laundry every few weeks and I've seen it get moved from the side (where I left it) to the bottom.

I assume he'll see this post in a few weeks and we'll have a discussion about it then but for now I'm hoping to independently come to some conclusion about it. I've just been mentally writing this post since the night I found it so thought I'd finally get it out "on paper."