divorce envy

eleanore s. wells - divorce envy

"Divorced women are viewed more favorably than women who've never been married."


this is weird for me because one of the reasons i'm marriage-shy is because i never want to be divorced. and obviously i think that to get married for the sake of elevated status is just wrong, but i wonder if i can really fault them? it's like someone who gets married because they don't want to be lonely. it's just sad.

'"A 40-year-old woman who has never been married is scary."'

i've never thought of it that way. i do get a weird vibe from people in their mid 20s who have never been in a serious relationship. and i'd definitely caution a friend about to get into a relationship with someone like that. but i feel like more red flags would go up if my friend were dating a several times divorced 50yo than a 50yo who'd never been married.

honestly tho, i'd be a bit cautious either way. i know a few older never-been-marrieds and they're so set in their ways. being single means you probably aren't used to compromising and self-sacrificing to make another person happy. and you're probably really set in your daily patterns. putting things in a specific place, doing things in a certain way. it'd be like dating a selfish ocd person. not fun!

i think to have been divorced once is not a big deal, but to have been divorced twice or more (no matter what your age) says something about you. tho, not necessarily that you're selfish, uncaring, or a bad husband or wife. it might just mean that you're attracted to the wrong kind of person. marriage, to me anyway, is something that should be permanent, like a tattoo. sure you can get them removed, but it'll hurt like a bitch and there will always be a scar.

btw, do you think the same goes for men?