claire messud - the emperor's children
"...she fails to take into account the emotions of the person whom she loves. She is, therefore, a poor lover, and your sympathy should be limited. ... It's narcissism, to love a wall and resent it for not loving you back. It's perversity. Love is mutual, it flourishes in reciprocity. You can't have real love without a return of affection--otherwise, it's just obsession, and projection. It's childish." [306-307]
while i can understand the sentiment, i wonder if it's actually true? it seems a bit harsh, doesn't it?
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