support

i have a friend whose husband is pretty awesome. he supports her in everything she does, it seems like. and when she has a major complaint about something, she tells him and he immediately goes and puts effort into making her happy. she complains about being the only one really doing housework / meal stuff, and the very next night he makes dinner. that's damn cool.

i don't feel like i get nearly as much support from my sig other. i complain about something big and he argues with me. that i'm wrong and shouldn't feel that way. very occasionally he'll agree but he generally doesn't get on it and "fix" it right away.

a couple random things: 1. for my shoe drive, he didn't donate anything and i don't think he asked his friends or family either. he also didn't help with packing the shoes up (which even my boss helped with). 2. he rarely, if ever, seems to encourage me. to go back to school, do charity work, volunteer with db, go to china, continue with ta-ing... don't you want me to be a better person? i feel like i support him. i don't go to tournaments very often, but i made him a shirt, i helped him buy props for his video taping, i brainstormed ideas on what i could make for his video taping, i encouraged him to find a new place to tape (i even volunteered my boss's office tho i didn't clear that with him), i wake him up for his tourneys, if he's tired and is thinking of skipping the tourney i tell him that he should go (even if we would hang out if he ditched), i found (with some difficulty) and bought him action figure things from taiwan, i encourage him to travel for tourneys and take on new responsibilities... the list goes on.

you might be thinking "what about dragon boating? he doesn't love it, and yet he's done it nearly as long as you have. obviously that's him supporting you." but we talked about this before and he said that he doesn't do it for me, he does it because of tom. now, i haven't been able to test this, as tom has also being dbing forever, but let's just assume it still stands since he'd never said otherwise.

recently i complained about our money situation. i'm basically not working (i tutor occasionally) he's only working part-time, tho he have a number of side projects he gets paid for (either work stuff or winnings from tekken tourneys). we normally don't quite go dutch. someone will pay for the whole thing and the other will throw in cash for their share. but it seemed like for quite some time, i would pay for something and he wouldn't chip in, whereas when he paid i nearly always gave him money back for my share. and i felt like altho i had a much lower income, i was paying for quite a bit more than half of our expenses. he explained that this was because i'm too fast with my credit card (and i do tend to take out my card / money when i'm in line beforehand). and since he didn't like arguing for the check, he let me pay. ... i dunno... this seems like a reasonable explanation, yet it's pretty weak and rather uncool. anyway, he's changed his ways and he's been so generous it's made me uncomfortable. i actually talked to him again to clarify that i wasn't asking him to pay 80, 90%, just 50 or even 55% if he felt so inclined. either way, it's been pretty nice.

maybe we've turned a new leaf.

god provides

from tracy kidder's mountains beyond mountains: the quest of dr paul farmer, a man who would cure the world":

How could a just God permit great misery? The Haitians peasants answered with a proverb: "Bondye konn bay, men li pa konn separe, "in literal translation, "God gives but doesn't share." This meant, as Farmer would later explain it, "God gives us humans everything we need to flourish, but he's not the one who's supposed to divvy up the loot. That charge was laid upon us."

giving sight

an email that i sent out to some friends regarding an eyeglasses drive i'm doing:

Some of you may know that I recently got lasik, so I've been going through my old contact "equipment" and giving away unused solution, cases, etc. Anyway, I can't exactly give away my old glasses to one of my friends, but I know that someone somewhere can use them, which got me to thinking that I should do another drive.

I've picked the Lions Club because they have a long history of fighting blindness and vision impairment. As for the drive, not only do they take regular glasses, but they also take multi-visions (bifocals and trifocals). They even take on-prescription sunglasses! You don't need to know the prescription, and your glasses can be broken or missing the lenses, it doesn't matter. They will use what they can and recycle the rest. They are in special need of children's glasses, so please dig deep in those closets and find them. They will distribute donations both locally and internationally so you know that someone somewhere will be thanking you!

To get your glasses to me, please just email me in the next week or so and I'll come by and pick them up from you. Thanks for your help!

To learn more about the Lion's Club program:
http://www.lionsclubs.org/EN/our-work/sight-programs/eyeglass-recycling/index.php