(in)direct requests

i kno, i kno, i never post anymore. but little do you kno that i've actually blogged a lot! well, in my head anyway. you wouldn't believe how many times i've rewritten my 'vanity' post. jebus...
tonight, however, i would like to talk about unspoken persuasion. say your significant other (or whoever, parents do this too) wants to do something, or wants you to do something. but they don't want to ask you to do it, or for the 'permission' to do it. ...this is getting complicated. see, the reason i've not posted much lately is cause i have so much damn noise in my head that i find it hard to write wat i really want to say. okay. starting over...
say your significant other wants to do something. and you don't want them to. but you don't want to ask them not to because then it would be like you're controlling them and that's not something you want. and besides, you do want them to do watever they want to do (...sorta...) and it's not like they need your 'permission' to do anything anyway. so wat to do?
sometimes you're lucky and your sig other knows wat you want even witout you having to say it. but of course, they still wanna do it. if they wanna do it badly enough they're pretend they don't kno that you don't want them to do it and do it anyway (outcome 1; no good: you're unhappy and since you kno they knew, you make them unhappy [thought you could get away wit it, did you?]).
if they're nicer, they will acknowledge your unspoken feelings but will make you ask them aloud cause they kno that you really don't want to so now they're gonna punish you too. this can end in one of two ways. outcome 2: you ask and they go anyway (super no good cause the person you're wit is an obvious asshole and they're only gonna end up breaking your heart. again...). outcome 3: you ask and they don't go. (better, but not great; you feel bad for asking, they feel bad for not doing wat they wanted and they might resent your for 'making' them not do it. [they might even later try to guilt trip you into 'letting' them do something you don't approve of. which would be bad. cause they're actually the asshole from outcome 2. just more passive aggressive. which is actually worse cause, let's face it, it's just a slower death for you]).
and finally, outcome 4. they're a really nice person. ie, they don't make you ask and they don't go. this is actually the only reasonably good outcome. but you gotta remember that you're dating a nice person so you better freakin 'reward' them somehow.
(and yes, rip, this is somewat directed at you and this weekend. [i'm so sly! {lol}])

Tags: relationships, persuasion, pressure, permission, pretty please