seeing clearly

was out last night wit phil, robert and ting to catch up. went to the cerritos sculpture garden again, but brought along a picnic blanket this time. afterwards robert dropped me off at home and he actually got out of his car and walked me to the door. can you believe it? wow. normally my girlfriends (i'm pretty sure guy friends too, i can't remember) wait for me to get in the house before they drive away. but not so much wit reep. no, he just drives off. we actually ended up bickering about this today. he says that he looks back as he drives off, to make sure i get to the door. but, like, i have a wall. so i don't understand how he can see me get to the door when i can't even see his car anymore. and i kno for a fact that the last time he dropped me off, he was already down the block before i had even walked past my wall (i was looking at his back lights and they were gone before i was gone, if you kno wat i mean).
it just bothers me cause i feel like he seems to be a bit over protective of me in other situations. but when it comes to me walking to my door or being sick wit a fever, he's just... not there anymore. he says that it's cause he lives in an appt. he says that all his friends (except me) live in appts. and of course, it would be difficult to watch someone to their door if they live inside the complex. but i feel like, just cause you live in an appt, that doesn't mean that you can't be more thoughtful and think about my safety. and btw, not all your friends live in appts. anyway. he was upset and said that fine, he'll watch me to my door. but you kno wat? this isn't the first time i've mentioned this. and truly, if you don't care that much about my safety, then forget it. i kno this is a pretty safe neighborhood, i think i'll just take my chances.
i said this before, and i've posted it as well, but i think i've 'trained' him a little too well.

i bought a dress a while ago but never wore it. didn't really kno how. i like the color and the material but the shape... so i decided to get a little creative the other week. i wore it over a tshirt. i was supposed to go over to reep's and i warned him that he wasn't gonna like wat i was wearing and that i wanted constructive criticism only. and he laughed and said 'we'll see'. and i was serious and i told him so and he just laughed. and it really bothered me. really really. i didn't want to go over anymore. or i wanted to just change and wear something safe so that he wouldn't be mean to me. and i asked him like if that made him happy. that i was so scared that he would be mean to me, over something a silly as a dress. and he said that it made him sad. and that was that. he didn't apologize and i don't even kno if he's changed. and he was nice that day but you kno wat? it's kind of too late. i'm still left wit these feelings. if it makes you sad that your girlfriend feels so scared to be hurt by you that she doesn't want to see you or doesn't want to tell you things, why don't you try to make that better? why don't you try to just not hurt her so much?
(pictures are from when i went to the optometrist wit my mom. i was just trying on glasses. i like the more square ones in the first picture)