doh!

"I read the most illuminating article the other day. An audit has just been published by the Federal Emergency Management Agency which revealed some rather creative expenditures of federal relief dollars. And as we all know, when we say 'federal' dollars we're really talking about your dollars.  
  
"FEMA was hoodwinked into paying for season football tickets, a tropical vacation, a divorce and a sex change operation, among other things, by not so scrupulous victims of last year's hurricanes. And sometimes it wasn't even disaster victims who have been stealing your money. Prison inmates, a supposed victim who used a New Orleans cemetery for a home address and a person who spent 70 days at a Hawaiian hotel all were able to get taxpayer help, according to evidence that gives a new black eye to the nation's disaster relief  agency.  
  
"The audit concluded that up to $1.4 billion - perhaps as much as 16 percent of the billions of dollars in assistance expended after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita - was spent for bogus reasons. How big of a bureaucracy do you have to have before $1.4 billion slips through the cracks?  
  
"Well, in case you have felt like you haven't done enough for those who are less fortunate than you did recently, you can take comfort in the fact that the homeless from New Orleans and Mississippi have enjoyed, at your expense, an all-inclusive, Caribbean vacation, season tickets to New Orleans Saints professional football games, Adult erotica products in Houston and "Girls Gone Wild" videos in Santa Monica and Dom Perignon champagne and other alcoholic beverages in San Antonio."