hocus pocus

so two sundays ago my family went to rose hills to visit my grandparents and aunt. afterwards we went to a psychic. lol, just kidding! we went to a fortune teller. ..no, seriously. she reads poker cards. my dad was telling me this is the morning, that you get four question topics. i predicted that my mom would ask about her own job, her middle brother's job, my school, and her dad's health. later my mom explains how the psychic thing works and tells me which questions she's planning to ask. lo and behold, it was exactly as i predicted! i told her that she should just pay me the $50 and get it over with. anyway, so my mom was a bit worried about being late, but i was like 'well, i mean, she's a psychic, so she really ought to kno already, right?' my mom glared at me and snapped 'she's not that kind of psychic!' .. .well anyway. anyway, so we get to her house just a couple minutes after our appt and my mom runs over to the side door (she's been here before so she remembers which entrance to use) and this guy is standing there is and like 'who are you? and wat do you want?' my mom explains our business and the guy explains that she moved just down the street and around the corner. as we run back to the car i'm yelling out 'well this psychic sucks! you don't bother to tell people that you moved your business? it doesn't take psychic powers to kno people are gonna get confused; alll you need is a little common sense!' my dad finds this hilarious, my mom, not so much. see, my mom had her business card, which listed the address we went to (well, it could've been outdated by then. altho we found out later that actually the lady never did print up new cards...) and she had called just the day before to confirm our appt.

anyway, so we finally get there and see that the previous clients are still wit her. at this point my dad leans in and whispers to me that see, she did kno we were gonna be late. they get done and my parents go over to her desk. since there were only two chairs i elected to stay in the back of the room where i was already sitting. so i had read before that many 'psychics' actually are just really good at reading people. so you should refrain from giving them any clues to whether or not they're on the right track. so i decided to take it another step further and pick a facial expression and go with it. something neutral but also natural: a small smile.

so she starts wit really broad statements. how my parents are pretty well matched and how their daughter is a good kid. how they won't come into a a fortune of any sort but they financially they will remain secure. she then says that during this year it's okay for my parents to travel. my parents start nodding enthusiastically. she starts to expand on this travel thing after my dad explains that they're planning to take a trip this summer (to spain, portugal, and morocco; i'm so jealous!) then she does the four questions. she asks my parents what i'm studying and they tell her english wit an minor in education. she tells them that i am well suited for this job because i love kids and am a very compassionate person. ...this goes on.

afterwards we get back to our car and my mom starts saying how good this lady is, she even knew they were gonna travel! i point out that no, she didn't say that. she just said that it would be okay for them to travel. and that's a pretty good guess because at this time she didn't kno i wasn't done wit college but i look like i've maybe graduated and so now would finally be a good time for them to take a big trip. i then point out how hideously wrong she was about me liking kids. i told them why she probably thought that tho. see, there was this little boy running back and forth between the kitchen and the front door. every time he ran by i'd look at him. remember that i still have that smile on my face. but besides the boy there is no movement in the back of the room. so when he runs by she looks at him and sees me smiling at him. and so therefore, i like children. ha!

my mom points out the bit about how my grandfather is not in the greatest of health. i counter that and say, well duh, i mean, you two look how old? so yeah, obviously your parents are old. so it's pretty safe to say that their health is waning. my mom says well, wat about me and your dad, how did she kno we were okay? 'because he's with you. if you and him didn't get along then you probably wouldn't have come here together. and of course i look like a good daughter. i'm dressed conservatively, speak chinese however poorly), and am spending a sunday with my parents.' 

'about the financial stuff? yeah you won't be rich. i mean, you're a bit old for that already. and we drive a 6 year old camry, so obviously we're not already rich. but it's obvious we're doing okay, i mean, look at your ring (my mom recently bought a sapphire and diamond ring. cause she doesn't like her wedding ring anymore. it was sorta an anniversary present from my dad). it's obviously not a wedding ring but it's on that finger. and it's quite large. therefore it's most likely an anniversary ring. also, i look wat, 20 something? so it's probably at 25 year anniversary ring. which means that you probably just had it. and no one buys a big ol ring if they're about to be broke.'

anyway... as you can see, the lady was pretty good at reading people. only thing she got totally wrong was that bit about me liking kids. nothing else she said was really concrete enough to say yes or no to. a lot of things were sortas. anyway, it was quite interesting and i'm rather glad i went. oh, and to set the record straight. my mom doesn't totally 100% believe the lady. it was more of a consult. my dad was skeptical but interested. and i was pretty skeptical. i wasn't totally against her tho. but i don't think she said anything really concrete enough for me to be impressed.