gang bang

so things are still good between reepal and me. but old stuff has been coming up a bit lately. and i don't totally kno wat to say. i feel like loralie whever luke mentions his kid. but anyway. yesterday reep suddenly realized he never knew just how al got wit her new guy (this was all brought up from another convo about al2 btw, so you can tell wat sort of mood i was in). in any case it seemed really soon and he was wondering if even when they were together she was already setting it up so she could date this other guy afterwards. i told him that i seriously doubted it. she was pretty hung up on their breakup after it happened so it wasn't like the al2 situation. anyway. he found out the story last night night and so now he's assuaged. which is good, altho he wasn't worrying about it much anyway, i think. but then he said something that was pretty messed up: "i wouldnt have even gotten with her in the first place if not for [insert name here] wanting to get with her in the first place" ...isn't that terrible? i would never get wit the ex of one of my best friends. esp not so soon after the breakup. and esp esp if the relationship was a long one. and while theirs was a hs relationship, so it didn't really count, it was pretty serious for a hs one. at any rate, it's not just the friend's fault (altho more theirs than anyone else's). if i were the ex i'd not get wit any of the friends either. esp not wit a couple more after that! you're like the group whore! and you kno they're gonna talk shit about you. no thanks, homie, i'd rather not involve myself in a situation like. i really don't kno why people do this... i kno of this one girl. she's done this. and the group says the worst things about her. really personal and intimate things. ::shiver:: anyway. that's not for me. and even then, as the friend... i don't think i'd have the self-confidence for that. wondering if i'm better than than my friend. better at anything. i'd wonder if we all went out wat he would be thinking. is he thinking about me? or my girlfriend? if we went to somewhere where we all went out together and had to dress up sexy like. would he be thinking about how lucky he is to be wit someone like me? or will he thinking back to some other night wit another of my friends? esp if she wore the same dress. too much pressure. i couldn't handle it. but i don't kno... appt guys think differently? cause i kno it didn't stop any of the friends from passing her around and dating her. at any rate. maybe it's just a girl thing? i'm pretty sure my girls would agree that we'd never date each other's exs (not that any of the short term guys are worth dating anyway. i think we've disliked them all) but reep said "guys are lame like that. The girl they like become available again, and they go nuts to get in line first" which to me is pretty f*cked up. there are billions of girls out there. why you gotta date your friend's cast offs? and besides? your friends are a reflection of yourself. so she and him didn't get along together then you and him probably won't get along so great either. so why waste your time? couldn't find anyone that wasn't second hand? elck. i dunno. mainly i think 'group whore'. and that's reason enough for me to not want to date my ex's friends.