smarties

MADISONVILLE, Ohio - A Cincinnati-area family followed their grandmother's wishes and allowed her body to mummify in front of a television in their home for 2 1/2 years. Johannas Pope, 61, died sitting in her chair in an upstairs room on Aug. 29, 2003. She had instructed her family not to do anything with her body, as she believed she would be resurrected. Hamilton County (Ohio) coroner Dr. O'dell Owens told a news conference Monday that family members regulated heating and air conditioning as they attempted to preserve the woman's remains. They kept a window air conditioner running to keep Pope's body cool until about a month ago, when it broke, Owens said. Pope's sister, who hadn't seen the woman in years, called Cincinnati police last Wednesday and reported a dead body at the home.  

RIFLE, Colo. - Dian Geist and her husband Brian were enjoying a bag of nuts when they got a surprise - a condom was hidden inside one of the nuts. Dian had bought the bag of unshelled nuts from an open bin at a Wal-Mart Supercenter, and the couple had a good laugh when the bright yellow condom popped out of one nut. Police said someone must have drilled a hole in the nut, emptied the shell, put a condom inside, and then plugged the hole with wood putty. "The condom was new and unused, so it probably wasn't anything malicious. I can't find where any law has been broken," said Police Chief Daryl Meisner. (another reason to hate wal-mart!)

NORTH VANCOUVER, B.C. - Police arrived at an apartment after receiving a call about a man who was seen bleeding profusely from his hand. The man wasn't at the apartment, but a large amount of blood was found on the door. Police searched the apartment and found a shell casing on the bathroom floor and a large pool of blood near the toilet. "Apparently the male was playing with a handgun while using the bathroom and inadvertently shot his finger off," the RCMP said in a new release. The RCMP warned about the dangers of gunplay after the incident, and also warned of the dangers of playing with guns while using the toilet. (but just while using the toilet...)

BAKER, Calif. - For a self-portrait, an artist literally went to great lengths, hobbling the Mojave Desert for 12 hours with ankles chained, padlocked and the key missing. Trevor Corneliusen, a painter and classical violinist, had gone to the desert as he does each winter from his home in Olympia, Wash., to meditate. This time, he chained and padlocked his ankles Tuesday while posing for the self portrait but then couldn't find the key, reports The Los Angeles Times. He trudged for 12 hours through sand and scrub brush, using a wooden pole as a walking stick, before reaching a gas station in Baker, Calif. The fire department used bolt cutters to unshackle the artist after three attempts.