holla

reep asked the other day why it is that he has to read about things on my site rather than me telling him straight out. and i really didn't / don't have a good answer for that. i'd guess tho that it's a lot of reasons. one of which, i'm sure, has to do wit that i hate confrontations. and i probably forget a lot of the time. lord knows i update way more often in my head than i do in real life. and lately he and i haven't been talking all that much anyway. he's always off doing tekken. and i got sh*t reception here at school. and when we are online we don't talk much (never have really. nothing to say...). and recently i'll have imed him several messages in a longish time interval and he simply isn't there at his comp. last night he said he forgot he was online. which is all fine and well for him. but when i'm really tired and want to go to bed and 'need' to say goodnight and have no one to say it to... and i'm not sure wat happened tonight. 24 ended over an hour ago and his 24!!! away message is still on. probably started playing tekken again...  ...wait. something just hit me. reepal. we need to talk about this. if you don't bring this up by like... romrow when we meet imma post this on my site. so, homie, the ball's in your court. ting said something interesting tho. about me just being used to having him around. it making me feel safe. and i guess that's part of wat it is? i dunno. reep and i lately have been sorta... incommunicado lately. (whoa that is weird... i sorta just thought that word up? wasn't sure if it was real or not? and even then if i had remembered it right at all? but it is a real word. and i spelled it correctly on the first try! ting! the smartness that spread to you is spreading back to me! yuppie!!) anyway. yeah. remind me sometime reepal, really. btw, like rory said to jess, i'm not gonna be that girl! you got that? you're damn right.

'if you're listening, sing it back to me' / 'i won't play your hide and seek game...' / 'what a dizzy dance' 'sinking into sweet uncertainty' / 'if you're listening, are you listening?' 'if you're listening, sing it back to me?'