(under)/(stand)

oh dear... i was looking for a song that reep had sent me and i came across some files that just... years ago, three years ago reep and i broke up. it was a serious breakup. we were apart for three months, altho we saw each other often and for a while basically acted as tho we had never broken up. anyway, so at the time i was making him a cd (the whole deal: music, cover art, liner notes...). and i had basically just finished it when i went over to his place and proceeded to break up wit him. i don't remember why really. but he gave me back the cd and also his ring. i can't say which hurt more... the cd i had worked really really hard on. i mean... shit. i spent hours on that thing. perfecting it really. songs, order of songs. cover art. liner notes took forever and a day. ...last minute tho i added in a picture of us. a photo. and i dunno why but i guess i knew we were gonna break up so i just added it in witout really like decorating the space around it. i just rushed that last bit after so much planning... reep gave it back witout having listened to it. i understood. the ring too. i went to taiwan the summer before and bought us rings. i had another set too. i bought the first set and engraved it. and then decided i didn't much like it so i got another and engraved that. and then went back for another engraving. i came home and we wore our rings from the second set. i guess i told my mom about it. she probably noticed i was wearing a new ring, it was pretty shiny. she told my dad and he took it away. which at the time i was so angry about because to me it was just a ring, you kno? a symbol of our love, to be cheesy. but nothing more. to my rents i guess it was like promise ring of sorts. it wasn't. but i got out my ring from the first set and wore that instead. but we broke up and he gave it back. i understood. and basically even after we got back together he ever wore the ring again. and he's not ever listened to the cd either. strangely, even years later, when i get reminded of that cd or our rings, it never fails to pause me for a second. but anyway. i understood. and i still do understand.