oh holy hell i might as well have just f*cked myself into oblivion. have two essays due in about 8 hours. but have spent the last 4.5 hours talking to reep. um. yeah... was supposed to just be 30 minutes. but it was all serious, you kno? so we just kept going. talked thru a lot. don't kno if we solved much. but just talking is good. however, ended on a bad note. and we hung up unhappily. damn, it's 1.43am right now. so now, even tho i'm mightily tired and oh so not in the mood, i gotta whip up two essays when i'm not really sure how to write them at all. ...eesh. btw? those big changes referred to in the previous post? don't kno about them yet. for a while there it seemed as if we were gonna break up, then it seemed not. but the way we hung up... he said that he didn't kno i was so far along in actually breaking up wit him. ...i don't kno exactly how far along i was tho... it was a very serious consideration but i had in no way decided on wat to do. it's hard, you kno, the things that are good for you aren't always the things you want. and worse yet, sometimes the things you want are impossible. like this damn essay i gotta write. okay, gg now!
'i liked having hurt...' 'but long before, having hurt, i'd send the pain below' '…where i need it' / 'much like suffocating' 'i can't feel my chest drop down.'
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