life preserver...

so after we talked things have been a bit different. for me things hadn't really changed much. i think i was just having a really bad day sunday and now that i'm over it, well... i'm over it. for reep, on the other hand, it seems as tho everything is different. and worse, he's acting entirely different towards me and is being over sensitive: reading into things that aren't there, constantly second guessing me, mistrusting nearly everything i say... i wouldn't have thought it really possible, but it's all even harder now. i am getting very stressed by the whole situation. furthermore, we're just not clicking as we used to. we've had several arguments, blow ups, freak outs and it really doesn't seem to be getting better. sometimes i feel like i just can't win wit this guy...maybe each of us just wants too much from the other. i feel like... i can't ever satisfy him. i say the wrong things. or i finally say the right thing. but he doesn't believe me. for me it isn't ever really that i disbelieve wat he says. but so frequently he says the wrong thing. he says that he doesn't believe in saying the 'right' thing. i believe that sometimes it's better to be kind. in any case. i think we both also feel underappreciated. sunday night we were talking on the phone and it pretty much came down to 'i did this for you' 'well, i did this for you' as if it were some sort of contest. silly really. but telling. ...we are both constantly leting each other down...

'some might say we've done the wrong things, for way too long' / 'hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes, then watch them drift away' / 'when all the trust is gone…' 'i'm running away.' 'i'm flying, i'm flying away.' 'i'm turning away.' 'cause i'm through mending the wounds of us' / 'i'm backing out, giving up, i need to find a darkened corner where it's safer and calmer.'