purported support

told reepal tonight to grow up. on one hand, i hate asking him if he's done his hw. i feel like a nag. and really, you're old enough, can't you handle your own damn responsibilities? and yet... he's smart enough that he's always gotten by. and he's lucky enough that he's always just made it. and yet he is living far below his potential (look who's talking...). it makes me sad and angry at the same time. i worry about him. he doesn't sleep much, you kno. and when he does it's so sporadic. either for snatches here and there or for most of the day. they say that these people become diabetic. and he eats so much fast food. which isn't good for him either. and he's so fucking thin! ...he complains that he doesn't like school and that he'd rather spend his time programming. and yet he jeordizes an ealier graduation by not doing well in school. and when he does get the free time, he so often wastes it by watching tv or by doing nothing online. then he complains that he hasn't any free time... he's smart and lucky. but someday those smarts won't be enough. and luck is so something you can't count on... i just... i'm so frustrated... ...it suddenly occurs to me that maybe i'm feeling this way cause i'm feeling neglected? all reepal ever talks about these days is tekken. and he's never home at 10 to talk... ...seriously tho, i kno this isn't true. he was online tonight and he wouldn't start his hw cause he was watching music videos. then he went off to sleep before doing much and i was quite angry. i keep thinking about reepal and where his life is headed... wat his motivations are... he doesn't take care of himself. and i worry about him... wondering if i should treat him like an adult and not care so much? and while that seems supportive of him, it's hardly supportive. it's like that drug commerical where the girl is drowning and her friend just watches on witout doing anything. ...so i guess the real question then is if reepal is drowning?

'hey, what you got to hide?' 'nothing you confess could make me love you less' 'come on and come to me now, let me see you through' 'cause i've seen the dark side too' 'won't let nobody hurt you' / 'when the night falls on you, you don't know what to do'; 'when you're standing at the crossroads and don't know whichpath to choose, let me come along, 'cause even if you're wrong, i'll stand by you' 'and when the night falls on you, baby. [when] you're feeling all alone, you won't be on your own'

'take me in, into your darkest hour and i'll never desert you'