blurry

so we didn't exacly make up or anything. but we're normal again. we hung up badly last night. this morning i had a dream that we had made up. he was supposed to call me so we could get together. i woke up to my phone vibrating. i thought it was him cause i was still caught up in my dream. it wasn't. it was my alarm. but that woke me up quick. i texted him we should meet after work. and he came. we talked a little. and i realized that i'm nowhere as stubborn as either he or i thinks. which is a good thing. he's stubborn too tho. more so than me. but i guess i should count my blessings that we aren't equally bad. i'm still not wearing my ring. i put it on this morning and as i was brushing my teeth it slipped off and fell into the sink. i was/am too scared to put it back on. it's a funny thing tho. taking it off. all at once it makes you feel confused (wat am i doing?), powerful (look, i don't need you), sad (i wonder if he'll even notice/care?), introspective (i wonder wat this says?), and stupid (it's just a ring for crying out loud...). it comes in brief little flashes throughout the day too. whenever you notice that you're pushing your ring on more tightly and yet you're not even wearing one. and the thing that goes thru your mind then is sadness. that you've made the concious effort to remove a part of him from you, and thus, a part of you from us. but anyway. it's just a stupid ring, right?

'slow down, stop and think' 'you never want to think' / 'fear… just don’t be afraid' / 'cause everything couldn’t be a dream, another bad dream' / 'wait… you never want to wait' 'cause every time you say good bye, i’ve seen that look a thousand times' 'there’s no more room left inside' / 'cause every time you say good night, i love to watch you close your eyes' 'there’s no more pain left inside' 'flushing it down the drain' / 'it’s gonna be alright'